#I had one dream that my family and I broke into someone’s house for reasons

[iguessitsjustme]

I forgot that being sick gives me crazy dreams

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Playing Pretend (Part 3)

Dinner, dessert, and realizing someone might get hurt.

Roy Kent x Reader

2.8k words

Warnings: Language, plenty of pining, "only one bed" trope I guess

A/N: Came out a bit longer than I intended, but I'm not complaining!

Series Masterlist

Roy’s arm was still wrapped around your shoulder, fingers tracing circles on your bare skin as he laughed at something your brother-in-law said. Another reason you’d picked Roy to be your fake boyfriend: he got along perfectly with your family and didn’t need to create some fake personality to make them like him. They adored Roy. It was probably your dad’s deepest dream to have the two of you get together.

You had caught the look on your dad’s face as he watched you across the room. His smile was that soft, gentle smile, the one he’d worn when you were a kid receiving an award, or when you learned to ride a bicycle, or when he helped you move into your first place all on your own. It was his proud, I love you so much smile. And it broke your heart a little, knowing that he’d be so sad when you and Roy “broke up” after the wedding. Almost as sad as you would be when the weekend ended, and Roy went back to just being your friend’s big brother who you pined after in silence.

But for now, you laid your head on his shoulder as your older sister shared some silly story about your nephew, enjoying the rumbling you felt when he chuckled, that gruff sound that made your heart skip a beat.

He leaned close and whispered in your ear, “How’m I doing?”

Ignoring the shiver his breath sent down your spine, you nodded. “Perfect,” you answered quietly. Just as your gaze flickered down to his mouth, wondering how many kisses you could get away with by excusing them as part of the “act”, a housekeeper came in and announced dinner, asking everyone to follow her to the dining room.

Roy was on his feet immediately, holding his hand out to help you up. “Feel like I’m on an episode of fucking Downton Abbey,” he hissed, smirking.

“What do you know about Downton Abbey?” you teased with a laugh.

“I know you’ve got a fucking thing for Matthew Crawley,” he shot back, raising his eyebrows at you.

Feeling like you were being watched, you gripped Roy’s arm affectionately. “Is someone jealous?” you cooed.

“Maybe,” was the small growl before Roy’s lips connected with yours again for a brief, heated moment that made your heart skip a beat. “Is this alright?” he whispered, nose brushing affectionately against yours as everyone else walked past the two of you. “The kissing?” His eyes were full of concern, a look he often gave you when he got protective. As any guy would of his baby sister’s best friend- right?

You shrugged coyly. “Getting to spend my weekend snogging a handsome footballer kind of helps take the sting out of the whole ‘my sister is marrying my ex’ bullshit.”

The smile he wore was a surprised one. “You think I’m handsome?”

“Oh, shut up, you know you are,” you tutted, giving him a playful shove as you moved past him into the dining room. With your back to him you missed the fierce blush that covered his face as he shook his head and watched you, that big smile remaining despite no one being around to see it.

Once everyone had settled in their seats, Jim’s dad raised a glass. “Thank you all for joining us to celebrate our only son and his lovely bride-to-be,” he started, nodding to Jim and Lauren, who sat directly across from Roy and yourself. “It’s going to be a very busy weekend, so it’s nice to have the opportunity to have our first official meal as a family before the festivities.” His eyes lingered on you for a moment, wistfulness flickering across his face for a brief moment.

When you and Roy had arrived at the house and were searching for your room, you’d bumped into Jim’s parents in the hall; there was a lot of clearing of throats and avoiding eye contact from all three of you as you re-introduced them to Roy, informing them that the two of you were now dating. Jim’s mother looked almost disappointed at the news, the corners of her mouth tugging downward, before recovering and offering her congratulations.

Jim’s dad continued his little toast. “I hope this weekend is full of wonderful memories for our new family and that this is the first of many celebrations we share.”

As everyone raised their glasses in agreement, Roy reached under the table for your hand, despite the fact that no one could see it. While you marveled at how determined he was to convince the whole table of your farce, Roy knew the truth: he wanted to hold your hand, plain and simple. And after all this time, this weekend finally gave him excuse to hold it as much as he wanted. There was no way he was going to waste that.

He did reluctantly have to let go once dinner was served, but not without bringing it to his lips and pressing a kiss to your hand first. Across the table, Jim’s eyes narrowed slightly, before he turned to Lauren, acting like the picture of the attentive fiancé. You couldn’t help but notice the more Roy leaned over to whisper jokes in your ear, or found an excuse to touch your hand, or acted generally boyfriend-y, the more Jim mirrored that affection with Lauren. You did your best not to dwell on the observation, instead focusing on how nice it was to have Roy Kent by your side.

When dessert was served, Jim���s mum suggested taking it outside to enjoy the lovely night. Roy grabbed your bowl before you could and planted a kiss on the top of your head.

“Just grab the spoons, yeah, love?”

Love. Roy Kent just called you love. You’d seen him with other women he’d dated- really dated- and you’d never heard him call any of them love. The word stopped the breath in your chest as you reminded yourself that he was playing a role, acting as the perfect doting boyfriend.

But goodness, you liked the way it sounded.

You led Roy to the garden, where Roy nodded to a bench nestled under a low tree, a bit away from where everyone else was sitting.

“Mind if we sit over here?”

Your chest purred with pleasure at the idea of being alone with him in the secluded little corner, even if just for show. “Sounds good,” you managed.

Roy watched you carefully as you sat down before joining you on the bench, sitting closer than he had to, pressing his thigh against yours. He knew, deep down, that he was kind of taking advantage of the situation, that he was just a friend doing you a favor, but fuck, when was he going to get another chance like this? To dote on you, to touch you, to kiss you, to show you how mad about you he was. He would worry about getting his heart broken later.

“How you feelin’?” he asked, trading your dessert for one of the spoons you held out.

You shrugged as you took the bowl that he handed you. “Alright.” Your gaze flickered to Jim and Lauren, who were chatting with Jim’s parents. Jim’s eyes locked with yours for a brief moment before you turned back to Roy, who watched you with a frown. “How are you? You’re doing a great job with this whole boyfriend thing. You’re a natural.”

Roy turned his focus to his dessert, ignoring how tight his chest felt. “I’m fuckin’ fine. More concerned with you, actually. I’m sure all this… is hard.” He lifted his head to look at you. “It fucking sucks. Watching the love of your life be in love with someone else. Really fucking sucks.”

Something in the fiery way he looked at you sent a shiver down your spine. “Yeah. This is pretty damn difficult.” After a moment, you shook your head. “But… I don’t think Jim was the love of my life.” Roy’s raised eyebrows urged you on. “I mean, I loved him. Really, I did. And I would’ve married him. And it hurts like hell watching him marry someone else, never mind who it is.” You shrugged. “But he wasn’t the love of my life,” you repeated firmly.

“How d’you know?” Roy leaned towards you intently, both of you completely forgetting about the sweets in your hands.

“I don’t,” you admitted with a soft chuckle. “But I have to keep telling myself that, don’t I? Have to keep hope that the real love of my life is still out there, looking for me as much as I’m looking for him.”

Roy’s heart was on fire listening to you. He wanted so badly to tell you that he was right fucking there, that he’d been there for years. He wanted to give you a real kiss and whisk you away to the swanky bedroom you were sharing. Fuck, he wanted to offer to take Jim and Lauren’s place in front of the officiant on Saturday if you were keen.

Instead, he gave you a small, understanding nod. “Should write that down, it’s fucking beautiful.” And you knew he meant it. “Right. Well. I am… going to find a fucking bathroom.” He stood, putting down his bowl and forcing a playful smirk. “Don’t eat my fucking dessert, and if I’m not back in an hour, send a search party, see if I fell into a moat or got caught in a dungeon or some shit.” He bent down and kissed the top of your head before walking briskly into the house, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“You two were having a pretty serious conversation from the looks of it,” your father’s voice mused.

You looked up at your father, who was observing you carefully. “Just about how weird this weekend is,” you half-lied. “He just wanted to make sure I was okay.”

He nodded. “Well, I’m sure it’s strange for him too. Watching you watch your ex get married.” He bobbled his head. “Be easy on him.”

You shook your head. “Roy knows there’s no feelings there. Just awkwardness, really. He completely understands.”

“He’s a good guy. You know I’ve always thought so.” He laughed. “We’re all just glad you two finally figured it out.”

“Right. Right.” You thought for a moment about the way your family wasn’t completely surprised by your new “relationship”. “You know, I’m still not sure what I was missing all those years. What did everyone see that I didn’t?”

A smile crossed his face. “Really, love? You never noticed the way that fella looked at you? All wide-eyed and flushed? Or the way he’d run himself ragged during matches when he knew you were there, just to impress you? There was one Christmas he came home, and I swear he took one look at you and looked ready to quit football just so he could stay with ya.” He chuckled. “Just glad he finally made his move.”

“Oh. Yeah.” You giggled weakly, pretending you’d noticed those things. “And was I just as obvious?”

“God, maybe worse,” your dad chortled, slapping his hands together with glee. “Where to start? Always finding a reason to talk to him, screaming like a banshee whenever you watch him play, and your mother and I overheard more than one late-night call to Sunderland when he was away. I’m just surprised it took him so long to realize how in love you’ve always been.”

Roy chose that moment, with your face starting to warm, to return. He nodded to your dad as he resumed his seat beside you. “Alright there?” He scrunched his eyebrows together. “Your face is all red.” He leaned close and planted a kiss on your cheek, relishing the heat against his lips. “Fucking cute when you blush,” he hummed. His own cheeks reddened when your dad cleared his throat, reminding Roy that he had an audience. “Fuck. Sorry,” he hissed.

Your dad held his hands up in defeat. “Can’t blame you two for wanting to make up for lost time.” He clapped your shoulder lovingly and returned to your mother, who was watching you with a soft smile.

Deciding to let yourself lean into things as much as Roy, you leaned your chin on his shoulder, gazing up at him adoringly. “Feeling kind of tired,” you murmured. “Thinking I’ll head to bed.”

Sure enough, he pecked your forehead. “I’ll join you.”

Rather quickly, you noticed, Roy grabbed your forgotten desserts and carried them to the table Jim and Lauren sat at. You followed him, offering a small wave to everyone.

“Goodnight,” you called.

Lauren raised an eyebrow. “More alone time?”

You wrapped your arms around Roy’s middle and squeezed tight. “Just a bit knackered. And I know tomorrow’s a busy day, want to be well-rested.”

Jim offered a tight smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Goodnight then.”

Conversely, Roy’s smile was wide. “Have a great night, Jim.” He nodded to everyone else before taking your hand and leading you inside.

As the two of you walked down the hall to your room, you couldn’t help but realize that Roy was still holding your hand; you told yourself it must be in case someone happened to see you. That had to be it; Roy committing to this whole fake-relationship thing.

Once you were in the room, you each silently went about getting ready for bed, with Roy letting you use the restroom to change. You quickly removed your makeup, brushed your teeth (longer than usual), and changed into your pyjamas, feeling suddenly a bit shy in your sleeping shorts and oversized shirt. But Roy’d seen you in pyjamas plenty of times; how was this really any different?

For Roy, it was completely different. His breath caught in his throat when you walked out of the bathroom and his grip on the t-shirt he was about to put on tightened. It wasn’t necessarily the view- which admittedly drove him mad- but the knowledge that, in just a few minutes, you’d be in bed. With him.

Likewise, your heart hammered as you once again saw his bare chest- or “bear chest”, as Paul once joked at a pool party. You couldn’t tell if you were relieved or disappointed when he tugged on his black shirt, covering the hair and the light blush that covered his skin.

“D’you care which side?” he grumbled, pulling back the covers. He knew he should offer to sleep on the floor or something, but he knew you didn’t mind; how many times had you fallen asleep leaning against him on the couch? Or that time your families had gone camping and you had begged him to cuddle with you because it was so fucking cold?

Sure enough, you shrugged and helped him pull back the blankets. “Up to you.”

With a grunt, Roy threw himself on the bed, grinning when you did the same. “Only took, what, thirty years. But look at us, our first slumber party.”

You rolled your eyes and brought the blankets over yourselves; Roy couldn’t help but notice the tender way you made sure he was covered. “Roy, I spent the night at your house so many times growing up. We absolutely had slumber parties.”

He shook his head with a small breathy laugh. “Come on. You weren’t there for me.”

Not knowing what came over you, you turned onto your side and propped yourself up on your elbow, your eyes tracing Roy’s profile. “Who said I wasn’t?” you teased.

It was Roy’s turn to roll his eyes. “Oh, fuck off,” he grumbled, smile playing on his lips. “Go the fuck to sleep.”

With that, he turned and clicked off the lamp that sat on the nightstand, leaving you in darkness, wondering how you were going to sleep with the knowledge that Roy Kent was right next to you. Miraculously, you did finally fall asleep, listening to Roy’s soft snores that you knew you’d have to tease him about.

The next morning, you woke up with your head on Roy’s chest, his arm wrapped around you tenderly as he continued to snooze.

Fuck.

Your breath became shallow as you tried to figure out what to do. Gently pull out of his grasp? Stay this way and hope he woke up and removed his arm? Part of you- fine, all of you- wished you could wake up this way every morning.

Carefully, you removed Roy’s arm, the spot where his hand had been quickly becoming cold, and rolled over as slowly as you could, not stopping until you were flat on your back, a safe distance from Roy. Holding in a sigh, you stared at the ceiling, wondering if you’d be able to get through this weekend with your heart in one piece.

[jaemified]

last christmas | part 2

“this year, to save me from tears ; ill give it to someone special.”

❆ pairing ; strangers to ?? park gunwook x fem reader

❆ genre ; fluff, slight drama +(ft taesan/jaehyun of bnd and yunjin of lsrfm ^^)

❆ warnings ; swearing, and kinda toxic relationships

❆ wordcount ; 2.4k

❆ synopsis ; beginning your second year of college and you feel youve hit rock bottom. on your own after your ex kicked you out, and taking on a seasonal job at a christmas shop to pay off student loans? everythings gone to shit. but then, you see him for the first time. and you realize there really was a little light in the darkness — your someone special.

♡ kona speaks ! - vaguely follows the plot of the film last christmas (2 part story)

read below the cut !

you cant say you were all to proud of yourself now.

sure, you were a pretty incredible student by high school graduation, with a 3.9 gpa and all (not to mention making it to seoul national university with your beloved boyfriend).

but, that was a year ago.

who wouldve thought it was possible for your life to go so far downhill, in just a span of roughly over 12 months?

your parents had found a better job opportunity in london, but your mom wanted you and your brother to be nearby.

meaning doing so without running it by you of course, which led to her enrolling you into imperial college as a foreign transfer student.

your boyfriend was pretty upset, but nevertheless, followed you despite your best efforts telling him not to (which meant him forfeiting his scholarship at snu).

once your family first heard he would follow suit to london, they gave you an ultimatum. and stupidly, you chose love over family.

they never approved of him anyway.

it was fine for the meanwhile.

at least until you broke up, and he decided to place the blame on you.

it was your flat you bought with your own money anyway. what did he ever do for you? how dare he kick you out of your own home!

-

you watched while gyuvin pulled your luggage out the closet, pushing it towards you.

“what the hell are you doing!” you exclaimed as he began to pull your clothes off hangers and throw them towards your direction.

“helping you leave.” he muttered.

“what did i even do? you just wake up one day and decide its my fault you followed me to another continent despite me saying you shouldnt? i told you not to leave your dreams behind, and you chose to ignore me!”

“well maybe you didnt try hard enough! i just know that i dont feel the same about you now as i did then.”

“so thats it?” you scoffed. “you realize this is my apartment? i pay the rent. you just practically live here for free. you cant just kick me out of my own home!”

he only ignored you and shoved piles upon piles of clothing into 2 separate suitcases, before gently escorting you to the door.

“gyuvin. gyuv! kim gyuvin! you cant just leave me here!” you begged.

“im sorry y/n. but its over. maybe if you hadnt taken all that mattered to me we couldve worked out.” gyuvin spoke before slowly closing the door, leaving you out in the cold wearing only pajamas.

“what the fuck am i supposed to do now..” you whispered to yourself, thinking of the only possible places to go.

sure your number of options was minimal, but you began with the only person you thought you could count on anyway.

“what the hell are you doing here?” taesan expressed in shock while he stared at you standing at his front door.

“need somewhere to crash.. surprise?” you shrugged jokingly, trying to lighten the mood as you and your brother werent on the brightest terms.

“goodbye y/n.” he sighed as he turned to lock you out.

“han taesan you let me in this instant! you cant just leave me to die in the middle winter!” you exclaimed, stepping through the door frame so it couldnt close.

“wheres gyuvin?” he scoffed. “i mean, youre the one who left me with mom and dad to buy a house for him anyway.”

“we broke up. blamed me and said i was the reason he lost everything in seoul or whatever. and he still kicked me out of MY home.”

taesan let out a heavy breath, looking around before pushing the door out more for you to walk through.

“..you mean it?” you pondered hesitantly.

“i suppose. i know we warned you about him and all, but youre still my baby sister.” he half heartedly grinned, pointing his head in the direction of his hallway as a gesture for you to come in.

you knew he was still mad at you despite not showing it, but knowing your brother, hes still someone who you could rely on in any situation.

“yeah. and uh- just a heads up, i still live with jaehyun and leehan, plus we dont have an extra room so.. we’ll just figure it out later.”

“thank you.”

-

a week later and you were doing better than before. though it wasnt easy to forget the incident, you still managed with the new living situation and all.

you woke up bright and early the following morning for work, ready to sell christmas ornaments for the rest of your life under your boss, huh yunjin, as you were now on break from school.

considering jaehyuns bed wasnt all too comfortable, you still slept pretty well. youre grateful he took the couch for you during that first week. ‘maybe ill get him something as a thank you.’

“what are you doing up so early?” taesan asked, holding off on the toast he was about to eat as he watched you rush downstairs.

“got work. not like dads willing to pay student loans anymore right?”

“the christmas shop, still?” jaehyun asked from his seat on the couch.”

“cant have a full time job as a full time student. it just worked out while im on christmas break.”

your brother nudged you in your stomach, motioning for you to thank his friend for his deed.

“-oh and thanks for taking the couch. i owe you. if you want food or anything ill cover the cost and pick it up in return.” you continued.

“its fine. i get it, the last few days were rough. dont worry about it.” he smiled.

-

after a quick 10ish (or so) minute walk to the street side store you worked at, you realized you were about 5 minutes past the time you were meant to clock in for your shift.

walking into the store, it was no surprise it was already crowded by 8:36am seeing as christmas was 2 weeks away now.

“y/n! y/n get over here! where is your uniform?” yunjin questioned as more of a whisper yell.

before you got the chance to reply, she quickly cut you off and said, “nevermind that. just please hurry to change and come help me with all these people!”

you wave off her dismissive behavior, and speed walk to the bathroom, making sure to pass the lockers to grab your uniform on the way.

“i forgot how itchy this was..” you grumble as you slip on the ugly elf costume yet again before leaving to the front desk.

“welcome in! please let us know if theres anything you need help with!” yunjin smiled as another person walks through the door, putting on her customer service voice.

“guess you dont need me anymore?” you asked jokingly, noticing there was no one within a 10 foot distance of the check out line.

“why must you take so long to change? i only had enough time to help half those people. the other half left after mr smith came in to return all the ornaments he broke again. he really knows how to hold up a line.” she sighed, moving in the direction of a huge box of broken material.

“you cant keep letting them return damaged product. we are losing enough money as is, santa.” you gestured to her new character change yet again as you realize where a good chunk of the budget went. “what was wrong with the reindeer costume?”

“it didnt make it clear that im the owner. the shop is called santas workshop dont you know? cant call it santas workshop if theres no santa.”

you laughed brightly at yunjin while she picked up the box to bring it to the back, just as another person walked in.

“welcome in!-” you call out, before cutting yourself off as you caught a glimpse of his face.

he was pretty gorgeous, you couldnt lie. from what you noticed, he had shortish black hair and big eyes to compliment his soft lips (not to mention his build was pretty insane too. he definitely works out).

the very same guy who caught your attention came to you shortly after, seeking some assistance on picking a gift, so you were happy to comply.

“im not sure what she’d like. its hard shopping for a 14 year old.” he said.

“what’s your relation to her? just like so i know how close you are so its easier to help.”

“my younger cousin. we arent that close, but its our first family gathering in a while and my mom wants me to get something for everyone. but shes always been.. far from an open book. so im lost”

you thought long and hard about what your cousins around that age like, before coming to a final decision.

you attempt to reach for the legos, but you almost fall over as it was just barely out of reach, sitting on one of the higher shelves.

carefully, he steadies you by holding your arm and reaches to grab the item you were aiming at.

“this?” the guy questions as he hands you the orchid lego set.

“yeah! im not sure if it suites her or anything but you cant go wrong with legos. the price isnt too bad and its suitable for anyone at any age for the most part.” you shrugged.

“that actually.. makes perfect sense. youre really good at your job, no? thank you.”

“no worries. if theres anything else i could help you with, weve got a new selection of stuffed animals your girlfriend might like.” you spoke like it was nothing, acting as if you werent just trying to get information.

“i actually.. dont..i don’t have a girlfriend.” he chuckled awkwardly as he brought up a hand to rub the back of his neck.

“oh really? im surprised someone like you doesnt have a pretty girl on your arm.” you said nonchalantly while you attempted to hide your smile (as if you were going to make a move).

“oh stop!” he waved off when you pointed out how red his ears were getting, assuming you only were trying to boast his ego (hes so unaware)((please get the hint)).

you walk back with him to the register so he could pay after realizing there wasnt much more he needed. “that’ll be 45 charged to your card.” you smiled.

“thank you, ms..?” trailing off as he notices he never actually got your name.

“han. y/n han. glad to be of assistance.”

“oh and- one more thing?”

“sure, what else?”

“what time does the store close?”

“10 at night. extended business hours every saturday.”

“surely youre joking? theres no one else here but you and the owner! thats in like 13 hours. youre working a 14 hour shift?”

“yeah but i get paid way extra so its fine, i really do need it. and yeah we are beyond understaffed but its alright.” you laugh, masking your exhaustion and dread with a bit of your lighthearted energy.

“really? i could never, must be so tiring.”

“it is, beyond imagination. but we do what we can.”

“get home safely then alright? its scary leaving that late especially considering the predators go after pretty ladies.”

“youre a tricky one arent you! how dare you mask that as an attempt to flirt.” you gasp playfully, “ill be fine, its not that far of a walk.”

“walk? youre not really walking home are you?” “well yeah, its not like i can drive when i dont have a car myself.”

“by any chance, might you need-”

“y/n! leave the poor man alone! i need you to stock the shelves in the ornaments section!” yunjin calls out from the storage room and interrupting the conversation.

“ill get to it.” you call back.

“well, i should get going then. it really was lovely meeting you.” he smiles.

“thank you, take care!” you reply, waving as he leaves.

it only hit you many hours later (quite literally an hour before you clock out) that you never got his name, and you regret it oh so much!

even yunjin felt pity for you, multitasking and listening to you ramble about the mysterious man despite all the work she had going on whilst you both sat in her office seeing as there were no customers beyond 9:30pm.

“why cant we close early if theres no one coming past a certain time? its not like anyone needs to be christmas shopping at.. 9:49 at night.”

“its just in case theres anyone who needs something, we cant miss a chance to make more money when we’re low on rent money.” she reminded.

“its only 11 minutes though.”

“and where do you have to be in 11 minutes? you live with your brother and his two roommates with no boyfriend and instead worry about a man you just met.”

“ouch, you need to go out more.”

“y/n you know i love you but i have no time for that nonsense. i need to have fun, yes, but money is essential. clubbing and drinking does not get you there, we both know that.”

-

finally, the dreaded 11 minutes were up and it was time to lock up after a crazy long shift. though, you cant say you were looking forward to walking home after standing in heels all day.

it was all most as if your prayers were answered (or just by a really strange coincidence(?)) that someone on a motorcycle stopped in front of you as you crossing the street.

“heard you needed a ride?” the guy from earlier said as he took off his helmet.

“what are you doing here? its late out.” you replied, acting calm as if your heart wasn’t beating out of your chest.

“cant leave you to walk alone in the dark, can i, pretty lady?”

“youre smart, ill give you that.” you smile when you feel your cheeks go hot.

“ill take you home. come on.”

-

maybe it wasnt the best idea to give a stranger your address, but he seemed nice enough, and pretty trustworthy to say the least.

you sat behind him as he drove through the streets, with your arms wrapped around his waist, your chest flush against his back as you wore the helmet he let you borrow.

he was so naturally warm you felt his body heat through the sweater he wore, thankfully keeping you from being to cold.

soon enough you were home, and he was walking you up to the front door.

“thank you for today even if it wasnt all that much, i had a lot of fun. you made my work day more.. bearable.” you smiled.

“of course, you can always call if you need a ride or anything. dont want you getting sick when its storm season.” he reminded before slipping you a postcard with his number on it.

“id love to get to know you more, but i just broke up with my boyfriend last week.. give me some time?”

sure you technically were the one who found him attractive first but, you never actually thought about initiating something more.

he smiled without a second thought, nodding his head slightly. “of course, i understand. just know ill be here, waiting.”

“wait! i never got your name?”

“ill see you later y/n!” he called out as he left, driving off in the opposite direction.

you sighed and unlocked the door with the spare key leehan gave you, and notice him sitting next to jaehyun when you walked in.

“you have a boyfriend and you didnt tell me? how could you! i thought we were friends.” leehan expressed dramatically from the couch as you took off your shoes at the door.

“not a boyfriend, just a friend. why were you even- whatever. wheres taesan?”

“in the bathroom.”

“thanks. uh- jaehyun is it okay if i change in your room since i left my clothes there?”

“go ahead.” he reassured. “oh! also, by the time you come back the pizza we ordered should be here too.”

you close the door behind you and pull out the index card from earlier to save the number as a contact. however, you couldnt help but smile as you read what it said below.

“your personal uber when you need it! +44 28xxx0xx29 -xoxo gunwook park :)”

[geniarts]

BillFord is canon

This was the title of a post I made on my previous tumblr account 6 years ago (acc was banned for unknown reason and I can't see my posts). Now, with the kind help of @decaying-dimension who gave me HD scans of the Book of Bill pages, I want to make a new summary of the subject.

You know, a month ago I was really surprised to see all those BillFord posts. Like people only realized it just recently even though there were plenty of hints in the series and especially in Journal 3. Back then, when I tried to say something about Bill and Ford relations, I got only hate and accusations. So now I feel a sense of triumph as all my thoughts were correct. Now let's see why we can say BillFord is in fact a canon.

Ford's feelings. Well, this point is so obvious that I'm really amused some people still can't take it right and keep talking about abuse, manipulations, etc. Yes, Bill used Ford to achieve his goal and then broke his heart, but those two years before his betrayal were the happiest years of Ford's life.

Ever since his childhood, Ford was teased for his fingers and had such deep communication issues that he gladly moved to a secluded place in the woods. He wished to someday become famous and show all his abusers that they were wrong. He wanted to be a hero, not a freak. He needed attention, admiration, recognition, and Bill gave him just that.

Ford called himself a Cipherholic, and that he was. Just think about a guy who turned his own house into a shrine. He was so obsessed with Bill that he collected every Bill artifact he could find, and in addition, surrounded himself with glass pyramids and dozens of hand drawn portraits all around his study.

Some people said that this wasn't a romantic feeling, just a religious one, but you know what? If you don't love someone with all your heart, you wouldn't be eager to see him in your dreams, you wouldn't reflect about the complex fates that brought you and him together, you wouldn't choose him over your only loyal friend. (Speaking of fate, in the Book of Bill there's a picture of baby Ford reaching for a yellow triangle as a sign that their destinies will be tied together) My, Ford even saw Bill's image in the stars! This was the most romantic thing in the whole Journal 3.

Ford trusted Bill so much he let him into his body and mind, and this is the highest level of trust a man could ever give. Bill was his beloved Muse, his sunshine, the center of his life, and he didn't want to hear anything bad about him. Ford ignored all the warnings like some blind lover and even kicked Fiddleford because he trusted Bill more than his old friend.

So now we clearly see that Ford didn't consider Bill just some kind of deity, but his partner, his closest friend, his beloved.

I won't speculate if there was something between them during "karaoke night" as I'm sure in this case Ford wouldn't behave the same way he always did (or maybe he just forgot the ending of that night :)) but the whole picture of them drinking together and the excitement Ford felt at that moment... well I'm sure he wouldn't mind if "one thing led to another" to its peak ;)

Bill's betrayal wounded Ford very badly and I can understand why he vowed to take revenge on him. He spent 30 years seeking information about Bill and building a weapon capable of destroying him, so we can say the most part of his life was dedicated to Bill in one way or another. Even now that he's reunited with his family, he can't get rid of his thoughts about Bill, and I doubt he will ever be able to.

Bill's feelings aren't so obvious as he's a hardened liar and pretender. That's why most people saw only one side of his personality, but even 6 years ago there were some hints of his inner thoughts and motives. The Axolotl said Bill was pretending to be happy, but deep inside he missed his home that he couldn't even return to. Hirsch also said that he used the concept of Flatland (a book written by Edwin Abbott) where triangles were one of the lowest classes, so this was another reason for Bill to seek power and to show others they were wrong about him (just like Ford).

Now in the Book of Bill we clearly see him having issues after destroying his home dimension. Even though he tries to deny his guilt, these thoughts are torturing him, and "the ghosts of his family are haunting him still” (a code from TBOB). He even called himself a monster while talking to Ford! There's no way such an egomaniac would call himself that if he didn't realize he deserved this. After his break up with Ford, he went to the bar to get drunk and forget, but he couldn't. He said Ford was his pawn, but in fact, Bill needed Ford more than Ford needed him.

After losing his home Bill didn't find a place where he could be happy again. He gathered some interdimensional scum around him and tried to numb his pain by torturing and abusing inhabitants in other worlds. He spent trillions of years doing this, but he still didn't get what he wanted - to be needed, to be loved. And he got all of this from Ford.

Ford's sincere adoration and devotion made Bill feel something new, something so important and necessary, but also something he didn't know how to deal with. He was scared, he never thought that he was able to make such a deep connection to another person... to a _mortal_ one. His phrase "handcuffing your happiness to a mortal is like gluing yourself to a time bomb ‘till death do us part’” is the saddest thing in the whole book. Bill tried to convince himself that their breakup was the right thing because these thoughts were really unbearable for him.

But despite all of this, he tried so hard to get Ford back. He invited him twice, and the first one was right after Ford's attempt to kill him. Moreover, it was during that moment Bill was sure he became the ruler of Earth and didn't need Ford's assistance anymore, so he asked him to join just because he wanted Ford to be with him.

What he didn't understand was that Ford hated him for all the pain he caused him and his family. For Bill it was just entertainment, so he couldn't understand why Ford was so upset. But I think there's a potential opportunity for both of them if Bill finally finds courage to admit his mistakes and to improve himself. He just has to look deeper inside himself and allow his remorse, his pain and his true wishes to take place in his soul. And I'm sure if he sincerely asks for help, Ford wouldn't turn his back on him.

[heavynightshade]

sam likes broken toys

pairing. sam winchester x ofc!hunter summary. ofc is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but she doesn't seem to know. word count. 1200 a/n. it's written in first person, but i believe it can be read as "x reader". also, english isn't my first language and im currently watching the second season of supernatural. tags. angst with a happy ending, i think

chapter 2 | chapter 3 (soon)

Why in the nine circles of hell is Sam Winchester laughing at the blonde at the bar? I personally wouldn't know. God, why a blonde? Dean loves to say that I have some kind of complex with everyone who has too little melanin in their hair and make it everyone else's problem. Whatever.

We're somewhere in the backwoods of Louisiana, hunting some kind of vengeful spirit. Supposedly a father who killed his entire family and then killed himself. We only have a few problems: Dean's car broke down, my laptop stopped working and the bones of the father in question are missing. What a great week!

When I enter the bar where we agreed to meet, I avoid staring too much, like, I don't want to seem desperate or psychotic, so, I go straight to the side of the bar where Dean is.

"A beer, please," I ask the bartender.

"On the house, sweetie," he answers.

Well, I'm not ugly, seriously. But I've had better times. Surprising.

I could have sworn I saw Sammy's back tense for a second, but then he just turned and nodded at me. Whatever. I'm going crazy (unofficially).

"You seem absolutely disturbed, especially today," Dean starts a conversation while looking at the waitress with a certain hunger.

"We have to work, you know?" I sigh. "Disgusting!"

"We don't have anything similar to the internet in this backwater, and the library is protected by Fort Knox for some reason," he takes a sip of his drink. "And you know, he's only attacked on even-numbered days so far. So happy Friday the 13th! Go relax."

Dean smiles and walks towards the waitress who had passed by seconds ago. Oh, my god, something tells me not to wait up for him. Kids, — he's older than me — grow up so quickly…

Sometimes I think about the dream I had the other night. Sure, I've dreamed about the brothers a few times, usually about the hunts, and it ends with someone almost, or actually getting killed. Sometimes I kill them, when I take the place of the monster of the week. My psychiatrist probably has some opinion on this, but whatever, I could handle a nightmare. Sure, beat the trauma once or twice a week.

But this time, it was even worse. I had sex with Sam, or rather, he fucked me brainless. He corrupted my dignity. And for God's sake, the memories alone are enough to make me cry, again. I’m afraid to even look at his face. The shame could kill me. Thinking about it, death seems like a pretty funny experience, you know. That didn't matter, right now he was apparently having a lot of fun with someone else, and he would probably have a lot more fun soon.

Yeah. Sammy deserves better.

Sam was still caught up in the conversation with the blonde. My crush on him was probably reaching levels that were much less mature and less feminist than I should have expected, which is detestable. I like to be someone with ideals, and I would like those ideals to resist a 6'4" man who looks like a walking encyclopedia. We need more sisterhood!

Fuck it.

Of course the jealousy made me sick. Every second by their side is enough to make me even sicker. Oh my God, I'm burning. I hated blondes and the only exception I can make is Stevie Nicks.

I have poor self-control, when it comes to candies, tequila, Chesterfield Black and Sam Winchester.

I look at the analog clock on the wall, a big red one that matches my lipstick. After all, I don't think it's good to have personality crises early, but, I mean, it was already past 11pm.

After that I ordered a shot of whiskey and headed over to a pool table. In fact, I am an excellent player. If the Winchesters can have fun, why can't I do the same?

Can manage to laugh a little with some guys for a few minutes. Yeah, maybe I prayed a little that one of them would want to sleep with me. I could be good at something.

As I go to bend down for the next move, a hand weighs down on my arm. I instinctively use the bat to hit him, but I'm partially unarmed, so the blow doesn't have full force.

"Why are you doing this to me?" His gaze makes my body burn. As if I was being judged on Doomsday, the only difference was that I cared about the future when it comes to him.

"Sam? What? No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." I mumble a few words. When did he get here?

"Why are you torturing me, Ivy?”

Ivy, like poison ivy, I thought. Sam told me once that I was filled with poison but blessed with beauty and rage. He was drunk as fuck, or it as me? I avoided thinking. I am not able to deal with things. I have not been able to for a long time. I’m no good.

I can barely think of a response as he drags me across the room. Sam's soft eyes and brusque attitude leave me confused. And I just let him lead me. Unfortunately, I trust him.

Sometimes alcohol makes me shaky, and this was the only reasonable explanation for what was happening now. I'm confused and in nicotine withdrawal, I keep telling myself, again, and again. I'm shaking.

Outside the bar, sam, lets go of me, almost throwing me against the wall, but he doesn't. His puppy dog eyes, he's so gentle. Gentler than I ever deserved. Perhaps, his kindness was the real violence.

“Listen, Sammy, I’m sorry, again, I didn't mean to hit you” Actually, I’m not sure about what to say.

“I won't tolerate your shit this time”

What the actual fuck?

“Don't look at me like that. Day after day you've been killing yourself. Acting like you hate this life. Hating each and every one of us. Hating Dean. Hating me.” His voice trembles. Sam runs his hands through his hair, like he's going to die if he doesn't speak up now. ”God, why don't you accept help? Why do you carry this weight on your shoulders alone?”

“Calm down, Sam. I'm a grown woman. I'm fine, I swear. The last week has just been stressful, that's-”

“Shut up! Jesus! You drank so much, as if some kind of dry law was going to start tomorrow! You only eat shit and don't get me started on the night terrors” He sighs “Fuck, I wish I could distance myself from you a little.”

“Why are you saying these things?” My eyes were watering, but I didn't want him to see me crying. Damn it.

“Because maybe if I could stay away from you, maybe I could love you less, and not care about you destroying yourself day after day.”

My face was wet with tears, but I couldn't understand the reason. I wanted to speak but I couldn't. unable to formulate a coherent thought and express it.

“But you know what? There is no corner of the earth that will keep your name from burning in my memory. I will never be able to be far enough away from you.” Then he hugs me, and I lose track of time as I cry. “I'll always be your friend, Ivy.”

a/n. thank u so much for reading. lmk what you think!! im planning make this a three chapters history, so if u have any suggestions feel free to tell me!

[zerobaseonefics]

now playing ╰₊✧ ﾟ⚬𓂂➢ the 'taylor swift' series

🎹⸝⸝﹕'cardigan' kim jiwoong. [exes to lovers, angst, fluff] tba

kim jiwoong was your first love and the one who made you feel like you were worth it for the first time. unfortunately, after you graduated high school, you had to break up for many reasons. you never dated someone else after him. years passed and you started to think you'll never find true love again when life decided to make you two meet again.

'and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said i was your favorite'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'love story' zhang hao [forbidden love, angst, fluff] tba

zhang hao and you were born in two families that are known to be the biggest rivals since more than 3 generations now. what happens when you end up falling for each other?

'romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'wildest dreams' sung hanbin [idol!hanbin x idol!reader, angst, fluff] tba

three years after your debut, your group is finally getting recognized by the grand public thanks to your new song which is topping the chart. to promote your group, you are sent to the new season of the show 'we got married'. your fake relationship made up for the show with zerobaseone's leader slowly starts to become real... will you get an happy end?

'say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'paper rings' seok matthew [childhood friends to lovers, fluff] tba

you never dared to tell your best friend, matthew, that you kept the paper ring he gave you when you were kids, asking you to marry him. however, after a bit of alcohol and an accident, it seems like there was no point in hiding it anymore.

'i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'lover' kim taerae [established relationship, fluff] tba

after lots of highs and lows, taerae and you can finally tell your kids the whole story about how you met and how you fell in love.

'i've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'enchanted' shen ricky [bestfriends to lovers, fake dating, fluff]

your best friend ricky and you are now reaching the age where your parents want you to find a lover to bring at the annual gala they organize. it might be the push you two needed after secretly having a crush on each other.

'this night is sparkling, don't you let it go, i'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'stay stay stay' kim gyuvin [angst, fluff, honestly just idiots that broke up over a dumb thing] tba

okay, maybe you overreacted when you decided to storm off and break up with gyuvin just because he missed you date. now, you're supposed to get him back... unless he does it first.

'i'm pretty sure we almost broke up last night, i threw my phone across the room at you'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'georgous' park gunwook [highschool!au, classmates to lovers, fluff] tba

gunwook is quite confused... when he thought he was getting closer to his crush, aka you, the said crush started to be cold towards him. psst, gunwook!! they are just afraid of their feelings!!

'you're so cool, it makes me hate you so much'

🎹⸝⸝﹕'never grow up' han yujin [platonic !!] tba

after two years in college, you started to come back to your parents' house less and less. for the first time in a while now, you were able to come back for christmas. hearing your little brother's whining about random things. with a nostalgic point of view, you teach him that the moments he's living right now are worth it.

'and don't lose the way that you dance around in your PJs getting ready for school'

[sixofpomegranates]

All of them are Eddie Munson fics since I am going through some severe brain rot because of this spicy golden retriever.

The order is random and not indicative of how much I liked them. There is no ranking, just sharing some really good pieces of work so we can all enjoy it!

10 Recommendations || 🐇 = My opinion. || Pink Color = SMUT

As You Wish (series) by @corroded-hellfire

➢ Summary: When Eddie isn’t appreciated like he should be, his babysitter feels the need to step in and comfort him.

🐇: I am OBSESSED with the entire universe. Like, really, really obsessed. Older!Dad!Eddie has my whole heart. His boys too. Brittany can go to hell. Long story short: Highly Recommended! It rearranged my brain chemistry. Oh, and it's spicy. || Not sure if it's still ongoing, but the way I am stalking the author's page I’ll sure as hell find out.

Eddie Had A Little Lamb (one-shot) by @honey-flustered

➢ Summary: Eddie is trying to be good and with your help, he could be exactly that. But Kas, on the other hand, thrives in all that is unholy and he’ll stop at nothing to bring you and Eddie to the dark side.

🐇: This rearranged my brain chemistry. I want more like this. I love this. Send me recommendations with fics like this. Jesus H. Christ.

who’s to say [pt.2] by @quinnsbower

➢ Summary: your father, jason carver, promises you one thing and can’t deliver it to you. you decide to get back at him and it him where it really hurts: eddie munson.

🐇: This is responsible for getting me hooked on older!eddie. This is the reason I will be writing an older!eddie fic. This rearranged my brain chemistry. I liked this way too much. So good. Sweet, old guy Eddie.

Caught Me Slippin’ (one-shot) by @uglypastels

➢ Summary: [modern!au] feeling insecure about your skills in bed, you decide to find someone who could help you learn. Except, when the guy actually shows up, a mistake seems to have occurred. Fortunately, you're both quite adaptable (or, at least, you try to be), and the night quickly takes off into unexpected territories.

🐇: No, because YOU hurt my feelings. You gave me an amazing one-shot with banging smut and then broke my heart. I love you and this piece, and forgive you, but damn.

Honey, I'm Home! (series) by @trashmouth-richie

➢ Summary: you were desperate for a roommate after Nancy got married and moved out. An ad in the paper goes unanswered until someone comes knocking on the door.

🐇: Obsessed, but I’d kill this menace!Eddie. I do not have enough self-control to not go to prison for ending this feral raccoon’s existence. || It's still ongoing. Eventual smut.

The Soulmates (series) by @neonghostlights

➢ Summary: Eddie Munson never thought he would be one of the lucky ones. Him being the only one in his family to be given a soulmate mark was a miracle. What happens when his soulmate is not the one he wanted? Will he be able to give up his dream girl to be with the one he’s meant to be with? Or will he just have to learn to ignore the other half of his soul?

🐇: Like it a lot. I found it through a reblog and read all the existing parts in one go. It's a Soulmate AU, the first one I read. || It's still ongoing.

You Give Love A Bad Name [pt.2] by @cinemaquinn

➢ Summary: eddie munson was a world famous rockstar. and, apparently, an asshole. but you weren't one to believe rumours, so when eddie asks to meet you, who are you to say no?

Conviction (one-shot) by @tiannasfanfic

➢ Summary: Life takes an unexpected turn when a one time fling with your best friend leads to an unplanned pregnancy. Will years of friendship be enough to build a solid marriage off of...or are you destined for heartbreak due to a wandering eye like the town rumor mill predicts?

🐇: This was so cute. Especially the ending. Yes, this was spicy. Very good.

Destructive Solutions (one-shot) by @bimbobaggins69

➢ Summary: after becoming roommates with your high school crush and finally getting out of your crazy strict parents house, you get a little too close to him and his best friend (your coworker) —but they’re straight, right?

🐇: yes. I am Steddie x f!Reader trash. I love it when the chemistry is there. And it was there. I loved this so much that I am writing my thoughts on this for the 7th time now because tumblr is a bitch.

Show Me (one-shot) by @bimbobaggins69

➢ Summary: you accidentally stumble upon your best friend/roommates porn stash, you quickly learn he’s the main star. After seeing him in ways you never have, will your friendship ever be the same?

🐇: yes. yes. You may have noticed that that's the second fic from @bimbobaggins69 That's because I found her through reblogs and since then am sure that her fics don't miss, no matter what she posts.

Seriously.

Fuck Tumblr for always deleting the last couple of sentences.

[hyenahunt]

Obbligato: Epilogue - 2

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Tatsumi, HiMERU

Proofreading: Remi (JP) & honeyspades (ENG)

Translation: Peace

HiMERU: It was laughable to think the world would change for anyone who wasn't a god.

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Tatsumi: Why did it end up this way? You and I sought to manage a unit where all would be equal, all would be fair, to create an ideal world just the same.

Yet the moment we stepped onto the road that would lead us to such a dream, the bright future we imagined went dark.

Why is that? Did we do something wrong?

While I was hospitalized, no matter how much I asked such questions to God, I received no answer. Not even my faith could save me.

That is why recently, I've taken to unraveling this twisted world by thinking for myself while learning common sense, all so I don't make the same mistakes I did before.

HiMERU: In the end, it was not a dream meant to come true. It was laughable to think the world would change for anyone who wasn't a god.

HiMERU: (The idol industry was built from the ground up by a generation of godlike Super Idols.)

(But of the innumerable idols who have emerged since then, not one has come close to godhood.)

(Not "that Akehoshi," nor "Priest." None who have yearned for it, have driven towards it, have been able to truly replace God.)

(God is dead. I've heard that the one who strove to imitate God, "Priest," met an unfortunate end during the recent SS as well.)

(Deputy Director Saegusa told me as such, being as I have a right to know.)

HiMERU: (I didn't care much for "Priest" anyway. That man replaced God — known as "Godfather" — long ago.)

(I wasn't fond of my parent's house. I ran away and, due to being slightly related to "Priest," came under the care of that man.)

(I have no feelings towards him. I simply learned from him. In truth, "Priest" was little more than a stranger to me — I wouldn’t care one way or another if he died.)

(I have no love nor respect for an imposter who pretended to be my grandfather or great-grandfather.)

HiMERU: (However, Kaname was different.)

(My poor little brother.)

(He was innocent, he simply wanted to be an idol. His mother, the only one who'd ever shown him love, asked him to.)

(He wanted to live up to her expectations. He wanted to be loved more by his favorite parent. That's the sort of child Kaname was.)

(His mother loved idols.)

(So much so that she was obsessed with them and became a stalker of "that Akehoshi," whom she adored most of all.)

(When the news broke out that "that Akehoshi" was married, she flew into a jealous rage and crowded onto the stage when he was performing, calling him a traitor, a lying cheat.)

(You were a complete stranger to him. You weren't his family, a lover, anything like that.)

(You already had a husband.)

(Kaname's mother had an obsessive love, one that drove her mad.)

(Love and faith can do that to a person. And as idols, we unknowingly spread it as well.)

(What a sinful occupation.)

HiMERU: (... As she went mad on stage, she struggled with "that Akehoshi" and fell off the stage.)

(Unfortunately, she died immediately due to a skull or neck injury.)

("That Akehoshi," who was at the peak of his career, fell fast out of favor due to that incident.)

(Due to the coverage of various newspapers and gossip magazines, he was cited as "the absolute worst idol" and put under fire for killing someone onstage.)

(However, no matter how you look at it, it was nothing but an accident. In fact, "that Akehoshi" was the victim in the situation — harassed by a crazed fan whilst on stage.)

(Whatever force was working behind the scenes, it ended with the man being put behind bars and eventually dying there.)

(And so it became a taboo incident within the idol industry.)

(Even now, the fact that he was that woman's son was enough to cause reluctance in anyone who might have given him a job.)

(Those who tout it around as a worthy reason are the very same who can justify their violent acts against Kaname.)

HiMERU: (Yes, that day that mob surged into the auditorium, they used that fact to erase their wrongdoings and be acquitted for it. I suppose the higher-ups of the school managed that.)

(It's fine to corner and crush someone, since they're the son of a criminal. That's what their superiors decided.)

(When one of the teachers who'd become part of their group told them as much, the Non-Special Students used it as an excuse to get rid of the Special Students they hated so much.)

(They'd never forgiven the Special Students.)

(In particular, they wouldn't allow that abhorrent Special Student HiMERU stand on the same stage as their beloved leader — Tatsumi.)

(So they burst. Their dissatisfaction turned to anger and they weaponized it.)

HiMERU: (That is what happened then. The end of Tatsumi's revolution.)

(Due to meaningless grudges and long-held debts, the ideals Tatsumi held so close to his heart were obliterated.)

(It was, in the end, a dream never meant to come true.)

(Yet, it… is far too cruel.)

(... The woman who ended "that Akehoshi's" career as a Super Idol is dead.)

(But that woman had a husband and child.)

(Her husband had split from her a long time ago, and so he lived alone.)

(But it seems that fans of "that Akehoshi" took to blaming him for the incident, condemning him daily, even though he had cut ties with her; they were practically strangers at that point.)

(Innumerable fans who weren't satisfied with the outcome of the incident took to acting like he was the villain and, due to the constant barrage, the earnest man grew mentally sick.)

(Sick and broken.)

(Taking pity on the man, the Godfather offered him protection on a piece of land he owned. Perhaps he couldn't simply abandon the man, seeing as they had a blood relative between them.)

(Or perhaps he'd wanted to see the broken form of the man who'd been married to the woman that'd stolen his favored "Akehoshi" from him. Who could say?)

(It's too late to ask why; God is dead.)

(The husband never fully recovered, and later was often found half-dead, wandering the premise of the missionary school that would become Reimei Academy.)

(It was as if he was a ghost or the undead, simply roaming about.)

HiMERU: (Maybe it was to atone for his wife's misdeeds, but it seems he was rather kind to the young idols who attended the academy.)

(As he roamed, he cleaned up here and there without being asked.)

(It seems he regained his mind at times, such as when he contacted me.)

(I am Kaname's half-brother. I was one of that man's sons, and so—)

(Kaname and I's father was married to a different woman before he wed the one who ended "that Akehoshi's" career. She had me before she died from illness, as I understand it.)

(As a child, I was fixated on my mother. That's where we're similar; we're brothers after all — Kaname.)

(So when my father intended to remarry someone else, as if he'd forgotten all about her… I thought of him as a traitor. I hated him for it.)

(My feelings worsened over time, and in the end, I ran away from home and left for overseas.)

(I didn't know what had happened to my father after that, nor did I even care.)

(I received letters from him sometimes, but I would throw them all away without reading them. That is why I never knew that he remarried that crazy woman and had a child with her — that he had Kaname.)

(That's why at first, I was perplexed. It couldn't even occur to me that I had a younger brother.)

(However after much begging and pleading, I decided to help my little brother. When I first contacted him, he'd said he missed me so innocently. He called me big brother and turned to me for help.)

HiMERU: (It made me happy, Kaname.)

(I thought I would always live on my own.)

(But I was wrong.)

(Kaname gave to me what my parents had not.)

(And so, I wished to repay him for that.)

HiMERU: ......

(But it was all for naught. I wasn't able to turn Kaname into the idol he'd dreamed so long about becoming.)

(My father asked me to take care of him, and Kaname asked me to help him achieve his dream; I did everything I could to succeed in both.)

(Until that moment, I thought of myself as a great man. I thought I could live alone, that I was strong and amazing enough to do so.)

(However, that failure shattered my self-confidence entirely.)

HiMERU: (... That is why I am here now, working to make my brother's dream come true for him.)

(It's simply for my own peace of mind.)

(I failed. That is a fact which cannot be undone.)

(Kaname most likely doesn't want me to do this, but...)

(That is why this is just for myself and my pride.)

(I'll become the idol that he always dreamed of being.)

(The vision that we created together, HiMERU, will become a true idol.)

[ ☆ ]

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[bonbonchocolates]

Want You Back

Yandere Jimin x Reader

Summary: When your ex wants you back.....

Warnings: yandere Jimin, obsessive behaviour, mention of blowjob, blackmailing, death (of minor character)

A/N: Again originally from my Wattpad account. If you like it please leave a like.

Masterlist

____________________________________________

Flashback:

"Y/N, do you love me?"

He asked.

"I love you so much."

You said cutely and he giggled.

"Do you love me?"

I asked him.

"I love you so much my princess, that I can go to any extent to prove my love to you. "

End of Flashback

You smiled at the sweet memory while staring at the picture of you and your boyfri-, ex-boyfriend. You were very young that time and he was older than you. So at first you didn't wanted to be in a relationship with him but after he confessed his love for you so many times you finally accepted. And as time passed by you fell for him.

Your relationship was a secret one where you both used to spend time with each other without anyone knowing. In front of everyone you both practically acted as strangers but behind locked doors you were the lovey dovey couple.

The one and only relationship was that if your parents ever got to know about this relationship they would never support it. Your plan was to complete your studies, get a job and run away with him. You both would get married and have your happily ever after. But unfortunately that never happened.

Actually he was your your senior in high school and was brilliant in studies. You belonged from a very rich while he belonged from a poor family and his mother was a maid in our house. That was the greatest problem for your family their status mattered and they would never let their one and only daughter be in a relationship with a poor boy. This is the reason why you had to hide your relationship.

You were happy that way but one day that bitch, Taeyong revealed about your relationship in front of your parents. Taeyong was the son of your dad's business partner and your parents fixed your marriage with him. Though you didn't like him. You don't know how he got to know about your relationship and accused you of cheating on him.

When your parents got to know about it, they were furious. Your father told you to break up with your boyfriend but you couldn't do that. So you tried to make him understand but it went to vail. For your father his status was more important than your happiness.

He threatened you that if you don't break up with your boyfriend, he will remove his mother from her job and suspend him from the school. You didn't want that because you know that their family was depended on his mother's money and he himself studied day and night just to get admission in such a prestigious school. You couldn't let his dream break.

You were forced to break up with him. You told him that you don't want to be with him anymore because you never loved him and just used him for fun. He looked at you with teary eyes and didn't want to believe what you said. You lied to him so that he leaves you. If you would say him the truth he would be back of you which would hurt him at the end.

It doesn't matter if you broke up with him you still love him and will always do. No one can take his place in your heart.

Do you want to know his name?

Jimin, Park Jimin was his name. The one and only love of your life.

____________________________________________

You are currently waiting for your chemistry teacher to come and begin the class. You are patiently waiting for her but she was nowhere to be seen. It's strange because she is never late but today already ten minutes passed and she is not here yet.

Just then you saw your principal enter the classroom with someone following behind him. You know that he is a boy but you couldn't see his face because you are sitting in the second last of the corner row.

Maybe a new student.

As soon as the principal entered the class all of you got up to wish him. The principal greeted us and instructed us to sit down. I stared at the principal with utmost disinterest.

"So as you know, Miss Hwang recently got married and she left the school. So we have a new teacher. "

You principal announced. You were sad because Miss Hwang left the school. Actually she was your favourite teacher, she was the only one who praised your efforts. You surely will miss her.

Why do all the good people leave us?

"Mr Park introduce yourself."

The principal command the person who was standing behind him. You still couldn't see his face. You turned your head to the side to look outside the window. You were not at all interested to have a new teacher.

"Hello students-"

Wait, that voice sounds familiar.

"I'm your new chemistry teacher, Park Jimin."

He introduced himself. You turned towards to the new teacher to find the person who you never expected to be here. Your whole world stopped.

The principal left the classroom after that.

"So today we won't study and you can introduce yourself and I will say about myself so we all can get to know each other better."

Your new teacher announced and the whole class cheered except you. You remained quiet, you couldn't believe what you were seeing. Everyone started to introduce themselves one by one.

You just wanted to disappear from there. You can't believe that your ex boyfriend is your new teacher. It was soon your time to introduce yourself but you didn't got up and remained quiet.

Now you were the centre of attention of the whole class. Jimin turned towards you and as soon as he saw you the smile on his face quickly dropped.

"Miss, can you please introduce yourself."

He instructed you. With great hesitation you got up.

"I-I-I a-am Y/N, A-Ahn Y/N."

You shuttered. Everyone started laughing at you and you quickly sat down due to embarrassment.

"Sir, how old are you?"

One of the girls in your class asked him.

"Miss Aera, that's a very personal question but anyway I am 24."

All the girls started swooning over him. He too smiled at them, the same smile that he used to give you. You tried to control your jealousy while reminding yourself that you both are no longer together and he has the right to do whatever he wants.

Just then a girl asked something very unexpected to him. She asked about his love life. At first he went silent but then he started smiling.

"There is a girl who I love. She too loves me and I hope that we'll always be together."

He said that while directly looking at me. After hearing it some girls were sad after hearing that because now they had no chance to be with him. On the other hand you are completely heartbroken that he has someone in his life and he forgot about you.

Who are you to complain? You broke his heart so you deserved it. Instead of being jealous, you should be happy for him.

The rest of the day went on full swing.

____________________________________________

Time Skip:

Your teacher handed you the test papers. You saw your marks and you received a D+ in it.

What? How? You studied so well. Moreover chemistry is your favourite subject, never ever you received less than a A. You couldn't believe your eyes. You decided to talk to Jimin about it after class.

After class you were heading towards Mr Park's staff room. Suddenly your phone started to ring.

This bitch-

You picked up the call.

On Call:

You: Why are you calling me?

???: Can't I call my fiance, Y/N baby?

You cringed at that.

You: Stop this nonsense and get to the point.

???: You are getting impatient, aren't you? So anyway you need to attend the party that my dad is throwing tonight. We'll make our relationship official there.

You: I won't be able to come.

???: You will come yourself or otherwise I'll drag you. And I'm sure you won't like it?

With that he cut off the call. It was from that a**hole fiance of your, Lee Taeyong. Why doesn't he disappear from the world? You hate him so much. He is the sole reason why you had to break up with Jimin.

You reached your destination and knocked on the door. After a few minutes you got the reply to come in. You entered inside to find the love of your life sitting on a chair staring at you.

"I knew you will come here."

He said with a sinister smirk on his face. Uhh so badly you want to wipe that smirk from his face.

"I gave a bad grade on purpose so you come here."

"How dare you?"

You yelled at him.

"Woah......woah calm down Y/N, my dear. Don't forget I'm your teacher here."

"Ok sir, can you please-"

"Only in one condition."

He interrupted you before you could even complete your sentence. You were shocked because he knows what's going on your mind.

"What condition?"

"Give me a blowjob"

He said directly. When you dated him he was so sweet and cute but now he totally changed. You were disgusted.

Eww, how can he want something like this from me?

"I'm your student, sir"

"I know but if you want good grades you need to do this."

"I don't want good grades anymore."

Deep down you wanted to get good grades because if your parents see this they will scold you but you won't do what Jimin said. To you your dignity mattered more than good grades. It's better to get scolding from your parents than giving your teacher a blowjob.

You were about to leave when someone grabbed your hand and then pinned you to the nearby wall, caging you. Jimin glared at you.

"You can't leave me."

"You have changed Jimin"

"YOU CHANGED ME"

He yelled at you not caring who hears him.

"You left me even though you know how much I loved you. I cried for you, I tried to get you back but still you left me. You used me like a toy and now it's time for my revenge."

He said and then started to suck and bite on your neck.

He is no longer the man I fell in love with, he changed. I changed him.

Right now you can't let him take advantage of you. You wanted to cry but you gained all your strength and pushed him back. He stumbled backwards and was about to fall down but somehow balanced himself.

"Don't dare do this again."

You warned him and were about to leave the room but his voice stopped you.

"You will see the consequence"

You ignored him and left from there. Luckily he didn't follow you.

____________________________________________

You came back home and found a parcel that had your name in it kept near the entrance of your house. Assuming it is from Taeyong you left it there.

You changed your clothes, freshened up and came downstairs. You tried to erase today's incident from your mind and hoped that he will never do such things ever again. You sat on the couch and switched on the television.

"Businessman Lee Doyoung's son, Lee Taeyong was murdered. His dead body was discovered near the Han river by a native few minutes ago. The police discovered 'Mochi' engraved on his dead body, they think it is somehow connected with the killer. Invest- "

The remote fell from your hand. You couldn't hear anything right now, you were shocked. Although you didn't like him but you never wanted him to be murdered.

And Mochi.........I know him. Did he-

Just then a message popped up on your phone, grabbing your attention. It was from an unknown number.

Unknown: Come to XXXXXXX sharply at 7pm. If you don't come the next target will be your parents. Your Mochi

You never expected him to kill someone. The man you loved turned into a murderer and it's all because of you. The man who you thought could never hurt someone killed your fiance. You can't do anything about it now and it's your fault.

_________________________________________

[the-badger-mole]

A Gift

Another year, Zuko told himself. Another year and he could put this house, his father and his sister far behind him. He just had to wait another year and he could leave and find a job and start his life. It might be tough, but he'd sleep on the streets if it meant he could finally escape this place. He threw himself on his bed and screamed into the pillows. He missed his mother. He missed his uncle. He missed who he was before everything went horribly wrong. Or rather got horribly worse, because his life had never been right.

"I wish someone would take me away from here," he muttered. His cheek still stung from where his father had backhanded him for some slight or other. It hardly mattered what he did. Ozai would find a reason. The only thing he could do to fight back was to meet his father's eyes with that stoic gaze that infuriated Ozai so much. Zuko had left his father seething with rage as he walked off calmly to his room. Azula had poked her head out of her room when she heard Zuko come up the stairs, and she shot him a look of such contempt, as if he were a pile of dog crap she'd just stepped in.

"How did you disappoint Dad today?" she sneered at him. Zuko just ignored her and locked his bedroom door behind him. He had a bit saved up. By the following year, it might even be enough for a deposit on a crappy apartment. Zuko knew that the chances were better than good that Ozai would throw him out as soon as he was of age, and he had done his best to prepare himself for that since he was 13. Back then, he thought he could move in with his uncle, but that wasn't an option anymore. Iroh had left him some money in his will, but Zuko wouldn't be able to access any of it until he was 21 without Ozai's permission. So he would have to find a way to survive until then.

The wrong brother was dead, Zuko thought bitterly for not the first time. The wrong parent was dead. Everything was just wrong. But there was little Zuko could do to fix it until his next birthday.

Sighing, he reached down and pulled out a well worn book from under his bed. It was a collection of fairytales his mother had read to him and his sister when they were very young and untouched by his father's blatant favoritism. Ozai would set the book on fire if he knew that Zuko had it. Fortunately, he hadn't been interested in setting foot in his son's room in years, and Zuko's mother had kept the book on his shelf. Now it was almost falling apart, and Zuko's heart broke for the day when it would be too delicate for him to open again. Tonight, he opened to one of his favorite tales, about a boy who was whisked away from his evil, unappreciative family and ended up married to the queen of the fairies.

"I wish it was real. I wish someone would take me away from here," he whispered again.

His windows flew open with a burst of wild wind. The curtains fluttered erratically, before settling again. There was someone standing in the window. She was shorter than Zuko by a good half foot, but as she looked down at Zuko from the window, her presence seemed to fill the room and dwarf Zuko. She wore a dark cape with a dramatically flared collar. It glinted in the dim light of Zuko's room, and he realized that there were gems sewn onto it. Her skin was bronzy brown which offset her icy blue eyes startlingly. She was beautiful, the way a predatory cat was beautiful. Zuko was frozen in fear, which only grew sharper when she smiled at him. She looked like she was up to no good. Zuko knew who she was immediately. She looked just like the illustration in his mother's book.

"You're the Goblin Queen," he whispered. She nodded her head once. Zuko took a step backward. "I must be dreaming."

"You're not," the Goblin Queen assured him, her voice was wry and throaty, almost like she was laughing at him. "I heard your wish, Zuko."

"My...wish?" he repeated.

"You wanted someone to take you away from here," she said. "I'm here to deliver." She pointed out the window, but the lawn and the street beyond it were gone. Instead, he was looking out across a browning field of wheat that led to a labyrinth, and in the distance, a castle perched on a dark mountain.

"What?" Zuko shook his head, breathlessly.

"You will go there," the Queen said. "To my castle. If you are worthy, you may stay." Zuko swallowed nervously and looked at the Queen.

"And if I'm not worthy?" he asked. The Queen's eyes glinted in what Zuko couldn't decide was mischief or malevolence.

"You can turn back," she said. "Perhaps your father will let you live to see 18. I doubt it, though." Zuko's nostrils flared and he clenched his fists at his sides, but he didn't otherwise react to the threat. The Queen seemed amused at him. He turned away from her and looked out over the labyrinth.

"You should get started." The Queen came up behind him, running her hands up his shoulders, and murmured in his ear. "It's farther than you think, and time is short." She took Zuko's hand and turned him to face a tree with a ticking clock fixed to it's trunk. "You have thirteen hours to solve the Labyrinth and make it to my castle, or you'll be lost forever to your world and this one." The Queen leaned up and kissed Zuko's cheek, then she stepped back, fading into the air.

"Good luck," she said, before she faded completely out of existence.

[decarabiandivorce]

According to the genshin wiki, amos’s name translates to “burden” (or at least the hebrew version of the name). Any thoughts on the implications of this?

:)

oh i have thought about that a normal amount. Usually, I love tying it into my backstory of her c: An archer needs to be strong and I imagine her taking care of her community a lot. It was her burden to carry, now that she was an archer without prey. It didn't feel right to not do anything. It could never feel right. In her heart, she was an archer waiting to strike- but stagnation for too long was something she could never fully accept. She has carried many things in her lifetime, from secrets to fears.

A burden is a responsibility that one can not abandon; a pressure from external and/ or internal matters. Physical and metaphorical I do think that Amos acts from the heart. She is so full of love that it's the only thing that could really damage her. She will take on the world for the people she cares about. (And the realization of who she really should be taking care of happens much too late)

It's one of the reasons she fell for Deca. A person that could carry her burdens for her. But life without improvement was a different sort of stagnation. To eternally dream causes muscles to weaken and minds to soften. Surrounded by a sea of grey, were her eyes as sharp as they were before?

Ough this is giving me inspiration to write more of Amos's thought process when it comes to her relationships with people :p I wonder what I should nickname this one, either Violetgrass (Bluebells by another name) or Endymionis somnum dormire

.

Amos was a strong person. She hunted in the woods beyond the city, brining back meat to share with her friends and family. She did not ask for much. She did not have much. Amos the hunter was her name. Her last name? She never cared for it. Being a hunter was nice. Staying still for the perfect shot. Just for her patience to be rewarded in one quick swish.

Her parents taught her the way of the bow. They urged her to put it down as well. To settle with someone that could take care of her. One day her bones will tire and her wrists wouldn't be able to withstand the arduous tasks.

Amos was strong. She cared for her parents til their final breaths. She cleaned the now empty house by herself. She had many friends she loved to help. Any burder they had, she could take on.

She taught the children of her friends how to be an archer. She did her deliveries and as the rumors of war broke out she didn't worry. It was a matter between gods.

Then the winds began to storm and her dreams of green were no more. Her tasks were no more. Still those she helped so long ago took care of her.

She felt like a burden. A hunter without her prey. All she could do was sit by the armourys of old and keep up the upkeep. The other hunters and soilders have already gone home. No one to inspect at the city gates nor a chance to take their own somewhere else. The greenhouses at least gained new members.

Despite her many years of waiting, she felt restless. There must be something she could do! Much like a maid knight in the future, at a simple call she would be there in a second. "Amos, could you please help with this?" "Amos could you please help with that?" She loved to help. The belt on her side was no longer filled with arrows, only lists and letters.

Like the mint plants that weave through the concrete cracks, she survives. She always had.

Day and night held no meaning to her. Task after task. She could do it all. She could do anything.

Her face grimaces as she notes the bottom of her shoes needing to be glued back in. Her boots were getting old and she would need the support of a clan to purchase a new pair. Tailor Skyle still owed her that favor, she could ask her later.

Walking past the kids playing in the streets, she smiled. They waved at her before going back to play their game. They had made a show out of the information coming from the few outsiders. Words about the Wolf King's newest strategy or rumors of how bad this war across the world has been. The stone gate's leylines protected them from the wrath of geo, but the anemo in the air had to have a victor.

The tower in the center of the town was the only place safe from the storm. Its sturdy walls stayed quiet. Season by season the number of guards lessened as the few who found themselves of use to their king wished to conserve their coin.

The tailor greets her, holding the hand of her wife Riza. The baker had made her beloved a container of soup for lunch and had dropped by to see her. Amos smiled as the trio talked and Skyle did calculations.

"Red looks good on you," She could hear her friend mutter to her wife.

"Everything looks good on me." Riza smiled back. Her hand playing with the edges of a napkin. She was wearing a crimson bracelet on her hand. "Hey Amos, you like it? It's our anniversary present to each other."

The tailor sighed, "I can't believe Mr. Whisker would betray me like that. How dare a fluffy face like his tear my bracelet to shreds the moment I place mine down. Our perfect anniversary ruined by that adorable bastard. It's going to take so long to remake the pattern."

As she looked closely, she could see the slightest pattern of flowers. Roses if she remembered correctly.

Riza bent her arm to give Amos a closer look, "It's based on a tale from my side of the family. My father was eager to share the tale of the red string with his future daughter-in-law." She kissed her wife and Amos looked away.

Her eyes wandered as the two began to talk. She knew the guy they were telling her about, how he would gift her parchments and books from the lands south for the holidays. He was a nice guy, but she blanked on his name at the moment. Her eyes rested on the harp in the corner of the shop. She had one of those big ones back at home, but it was way dustier than this one. The feeling of string in her hands that needed to be plucked at the right moment... Yet before she could say anything, her friend was finished.

She thanked them and embraced the storm outside. The kids were gone, perhaps off to their homes for lessons or mealtime. Besides the regular rumble that surrounded the city, it was quiet. Trees and flags rustled like instruments and she made her way back to where she was staying.

Tomorrow was the same. So was the day after that. And the day after that.

Of course, there were new developments. The person that used to take care of horses fell in love with the butcher's son. One of the head clan's harpists was arrested for murdering her rival. She was invited to the wedding of one of the kids she used to carry on her shoulders. Still, she was.

She was.

Content.

Her eyes and body tired as she put on her best clothes. It was a humble affair, a family friend of the groom was one of the Lawrence and allowed them to use their home as the venue. Everyone was in pairs. Some people even more.

She wore a violetgrass in her hair, one of the rarer plants in the greenhouses' glebes. It costed her a pretty coin, but she couldn't help but splurge.

The event was nice. The couple spoke their vows and their kin held a toast to their happiness. Til death will they part.

She smiled. She laughed. She was so proud of her friend.

Someone tossed something into the air, and on instinct she caught it.

Roses so red and Celcilias so white. They smelled fresh, but the bouquet felt heavy in their hands. Crimson splashed against the bone-white and faded grass. Yet there are cheers around her. Smiles and jokes. "Oh, when is the wedding for Ms. Amos?" "It's a sign for you to settle down Amos dear!" "Want me to make a dress for you like I did them?"

She smiles. She laughs. She steps aside. "Come on you guys! It's their wedding! We should tease them more instead!". The violetgrass feels heavy on her head.

The beginning of the end starts with such good intentions.

"Ms. Amos!" one of the children squeaks. She had just finished fixing a post one of the animals knocked over before she felt the small hands of her neighbor's daughter on her dress. "Don't tell Lance but I wanna marry him when I grow up!"

"Is that so?" Amos pats her on the head. "What about that Charles boy that likes you? Or Amelia?"

Her face scrunches, "They are so borrring. And Amelia hasn't returned my ribbon yet! Lance is so cool! He can use a catalyst!" she pulls on the hem as the kid jumps up and down. "When are you getting married?"

"I don't plan on it." is her usual answer.

"That sounds lonely." was the usual reply.

Amos smiled, "I won't be lonely. I have you guys!"

Her neighbor's child frowned at her. At least this one was honest about their thoughts. "You sure? Cause I think that would be sucky."

The pale-haired lady lowered her eyes, "It's time for dinner. I think I saw your father get fowl today at the market. You should get going."

"Okay, Ms. Amos! Can I be flower-girl at your wedding?"

"Bye!" Amos says back.

She closes her eyes. The party a couple weeks ago was nice. Everyone was enjoying themselves and reminiscing on old times was lovely. There was another invite in her mail. An engagement announcement right next to it. The Bakers down the street were having their 2nd child. The Smiths were having triplets.

She grits her teeth as she makes her way back into her empty house. The dust was getting worse. She would need all day tomorrow to tidy the place up.

Yet instead, she chooses to fall face-first onto her bed. The blankets were in the same position they were when she woke up. The wood underneath her creaked as she squirmed. It would be nice to have someone in her arms. Have someone hold her. Have someone greet her when she comes home. It would be nice to have someone to share her burdens with. To greet with a hug. To whisper the vows to.

Yet the only one in her bed was herself. She was never an imaginative person, only able to build upon memories. What would it even be like? How would it even work? How do you even meet someone like that? How do you know this is the person you would devote yourself to? How would you know you were attracted to them? Was it like that Red String her friend told her about, a moth drawn to a flame?

She knew what a pretty person was! She had eyes! Yet. It was always surface-level. She could never imagine sharing a life with that pretty boy at the southern gate. Nor the scribe who doodles hearts on her receipts. She didn't know them. She felt no connection to them. That's what attraction was... right? A connection?

She gripped her pillow tightly.

She needed rest for tomorrow. She could think about this another time.

.

The storm was quiet today. It ebbed with her lord's mood, but today seemed different. Perhaps she had been imagining things. Sap from dying flowers needed to be crafted into glue. The arrows she'll never use again deserve their tail feathers.

Washing her hands, she tidied the armory's workspace. Clearing away the stuff on the desks was her first task- she wouldn't want the violetgrass's poison to stain.

The soft chime from the door was barely audible. Turning around, Amos noted the person a couple steps away from her had green eyes. No pigment could describe the hue, only barely comparable to the crystalflies or perhaps seelies. A cape on his right shoulder and an even longer cape on his back. Stormy grey hair and skin sickly pale.

Who the heck was this guy? He didn't have the features of any of the townspeople. Was he one of the wealthier people that lived in the tower? Even then she would have heard rumors of such a person. There were only a handful of people with silver hair and she was acquainted with all of them.

A foreigner would make sense, but only if he had arrived before the storm. The gold accents on his pauldrons and clothing seemed flawless- and he did not look like the man who knew about metal upkeep. Wait. Then why was he here in an armory?

"Good day." She greeted as calm as she could be. She was not worried. Surrounded by her old companions, she had spent hours wielding and testing each one of them. Sure she may not be the best at a claymore or a simple short sword, but any one of them would do in a battle.

"Hello," His voice was calm.

"Looking for something?" She asked. He placed his gloved hand on his side, his movements almost like that of a marionette.

"No."

"...Well okay then?" Amos tilted her head. His voice had an accent? That odd way of speaking the Mason family had, with some breathiness to the vowels. Time flowed once more as she tried to concentrate on her work, but this guy was still there. She kept looking back, like they were playing a game of Ochs am Berg.

"So stranger what's your name?" she asked, but got no reply. "... I see. A quiet one, are ya?" The arrows were done, time to clean up and then move to the shields.

"Yes. I am a quiet person." came the short response.

Socially it would be a good move to laugh it off, perhaps add some lip service, but this guy was giving her nothing to go off on. Maybe he did want to just sit and watch, a cat laying on a windowsill. Perhaps she was standing in his way. Or worse: it meant nothing at all.

"Cool." She muttered.

Somehow this became a habit. The two of them, never really introducing themselves to the other, would spend a portion of the afternoon in the armory together. Occasionally, the green-eyed man would comment on the abandoned armors and weapons. The unsaid question of why she continued to do this task on his lips. There was no need for anyone to fight. There were no fights. Everything was at peace. So why was she standing in a room ment for battle.

She never answered him. How could she put into words that this was her choice. Her old friends. Relics from the times she would have hunting partners side by side. Artifacts of campsites and friendships. It was illogical.

Yet, the silence was nice. The silence could make one pretend the other understood the other.

One day, he handed her a cloak that matched the one he wore. "It's cold." He spoke, his voice soft and gentle. As she placed it around her shoulders, she could not help but smile at its warmth. So light yet so strong. Not a single stitch was loose and her only complaint would be how the accents shimmered in the light. Still, she had hung up her bow- so stealth need not be an option.

Her mistake.

"Oh, is this a courting gift?" Came the questions. "Are you finally settling down?" they asked. "Who's the lucky person?"

She takes the cloak off.

But he looks at her with such concern. She does enjoy his company, whatever his name is. She likes talking to him. Sometimes she finds things throughout her day that makes her want to show him it.

She wonders what it would be like to meet outside the armory. She feels like she wants to impress him, to take him out of the city and show off her sick moves in action. She dreams of them patrolling the area together, maybe even becoming neighbors.

The cloak is in her hands now. It's so soft. Would his hand be this soft? Would his chest? She never thought of it before, but she wants to run her fingers through his hair. She wants to hold him and laugh with him. To see that sunny smile peak through his clouds.

Yet, she tells herself. They are barely friends. She barely knows his name. His story is his to tell, and while she had confessed the circumstances of her life... he has always been her green-eyed mystery.

It's so heavy, all of it. The mutterings. The attention. This dance was tiring. She wants to rest. To ignore the questions and stop acting happy. Amos just wants to be Amos. It's not like she can be Amos the archer. She.

She.

She hates this. Can't they all just get off her back! Go away! What she is up to is none of their business!

They are just concerned about you, her mind whispers. Her heart aches. She knows they just want what they think is best for her. That they belive that she will be lonely for the rest of her life. That's absurd! She has them! Do... do they not consider themselves as valuable to her as they are?

The rustle of the storm hums around her. Like a lullaby, she can feel it drowning out her thoughts. Her friend had been giving her more violetgrass once he learned they were of her favorite color. Purple. Such a lovely hue. Imports of those dyes cost a pretty coin, but these flowers lived near the stone gate. Useful towards pests and can even be made into some medicines. "Should you ever turn one inside out, you would win your true love!" A common saying among the hunters.

Win your true love. What a joke. If love was a game, she did not want to play. Was she supposed to bring an inverted flower wherever she went? Or was the game set by the time the contested meets their prize.

It was bad luck to bring this bouquet into her house. The neighbors will talk. And so will the neighbor's neighbors. But that's all they ever do. Talk talk nag nag. It's just some flowers! It's just a gift!

"Decarabian give me strength," She muttered. Not one to be a nun, she only knew the basics for events. "I do like the guy. But. I don't even know him. It would be so much simpler to learn about him. I could tell the Masons or the Peggs that his family doesn't like me! I would be free from their questions."

But what if she does like him. That this yearning to watch stars with him was what they would call love. That the urge to sit around and do nothing- to be by his side and vice versa... what if that was love.

Why did she feel so lonely after making this connection? Why does she want this? Why does she want to give into the pressure and sink into his arms? Have that heavy weight upon her heart to go away once and for all.

Despite her many years of being alone, she felt restless. Was this fear, love? Was the desperation to have someone to talk to when she came home, love? Was the yearning for him to wipe away the tears rolling down her cheeks, love?

She felt like a burden. An archer without her bow.

Amos closed her eyes and pulled the cloak close. It still smelled of him. If there was anyone she would be safe sharing space with... she guessed he was okay.

[murfpersonalblog]

My IWTV Dream - Dracula meets Beauty & the Beast

I am the most disoriented person ever. I just woke up from the most detailed dream--it felt so real that I swore I had missed the premier of IWTV--not Season 2, but Season ONE y'all. 😅

But it was VERY different from AMC's IWTV, and now I know why, cuz last night I was rewatching WWDITS, and the day before that I was watching the premier of the new Castlevania series with my friends (we ended up gushing about IWTV and other vampire shows). Which explains a lot of why my dream went the way it did.

Ok, so it was still AMC!Loustat, and it was still 1910, but it was actually a Dracula/Beauty & the Beast fusion. After Louis' father died & left the DPDLs broke, Louis left NOLA to become an accountant/real estate agent/assistant for Marquis de Lioncourt, an uber rich European whose newspaper post he'd answered. (He took the job cuz MdL promised to send a HUGE advancement ahead of time, covering travel expenses & stuff, which Louis split with his family back in NOLA.) The Marquis wants to invest in properties across Europe & America, and needs someone to handle his daytime operations--basically, Louis is Roget & Johnathan Harker & Renfield.

Louis boards a ship to Europe, takes the steamtrain to France, and arrives by horse carriage at the Marquis' dilapidated chateau/castle (in my dream it's technically France, but it felt like Transylvania--again, I was watching Castlevania the other day & had Dracula on the brain).

The Marquis de Lioncourt is of course Lestat, but Dracula/Beauty & the Beast style he's not hot yet when they first meet--"velcome to my home~"--he's all gnarly Swamp King chic, "dead but delicious."

But that doesn't stop Les from charming Louis--reading his mind, talking/acting funny, and all his homoerotic "tricks," so Louis doesn't notice the dude's a frikkin corpse.

Louis asks the villagers in Auvergne about the Lioncourts, and they all say every Marquis over the generations has been weird (they're all Lestat, but the villagers don't know that, ofc), but that the Lioncourts keep the area safe from predators (LOL) and even send money to the needy so the whole town stays prosperous. Sure, people tend to go missing, stop asking questions! 👀

Eros & Psyche style, Louis very quickly catches on that the chateau is magic/haunted--ghost!Magnus is Cogsworth/Lumiere & ghost!Claudia is Chip/Mrs Potts. (He can sense & hear them, and kinda see them, cuz the DPDLs are distantly related to the Mayfairs through Julien, like in AMC's original pilot script.) They're barely enough to keep him company, but they're also withholding info like everyone else.

A lot of my dream was Louis managing Lestat's investments & exploring the chateau during the day--it's all super lavish Art Nouveau, like AMC's townhouse, but grimy & charred, like everything's 100 years old and been through a fire. Only Louis' wing is kept habitable. Wolves roam freely around the property, and though they're not tame, for some reason they never bother Louis. And ofc the West Wing is off limits. There's also the whole deal with music & magic--Louis hears Lestat playing the piano & violin obsessively, kinda like Edward Scissorhands with his ice sculptures & topiaries, or AR's Julien Mayfair & his haunted victrola. He hears the piano around sunset, almost like an alarm clock letting him know that Lestat is awake & might be available to talk. The violin is weird though, playing during the daytime when Lestat told Louis he would never be around, and when Louis asked if anyone else was in the house he was told No. At night Lestat plays piano beautifully for Louis sometimes (never the violin), and they talk & chat & get on well enough, but Lestat is also a moody manchild recluse with no manners, so "modernizing" him takes a lot of work & patience. Especially since he constantly skulks in the shadows, keeps the lights off/dim, and avoids letting Louis really ever look at him head on.

Of course there's the Library Scene TM (and ofc Lestat's useless arse is illiterate). Louis reads up on the Lioncourts, and realizes that the math ain't mathin, as Lestat, the villagers, the ghosts, and even the books aren't telling him anything substantial about the history of the area, family, chateau--nada. As Lestat's accountant he has access to the taxes/ledgers/etc, that only go as far as corroborating what the villagers already told him about centuries of Lioncourt Marquises all named Lestat--this current lord is the 7th generation (Lestat VII). But the longer Louis stays there, he starts becoming more sensitive/aware of the magic/curse on the chateau.

Soon enough, Louis starts having crazy dreams, glimpses of the chateau all restored and gorgeous, and populated by a whole court of people--by their voices he realizes that 2 of them are Magnus & Claudia. Most importantly, he sees the real Lestat, who's beautiful & debonair, and the only one he can actually talk to & engage with in the dream. Because basically, Lestat is seducing Louis in his sleep/head like some creeper.

Louis starts looking forward to going to sleep, so he can meet hot!Lestat in his dreams--black tar heroin to the rings of Saturn, etc. The dubcon is strong, cuz Lestat's like an incubus feeding on Louis in his sleep & taking Little Drinks; "I was being on hunted." Finally Louis is lucid enough to realize that Lestat's a vampire/loup garou--only seeing him at night, never eating, eavesdropping/catching him having literal conversations with the creatures of the night, etc. The longer Louis lived there, and the more Lestat drank from him, the younger/healthier Lestat started appearing when Louis was awake. Louis thought it was him rehabilitating/modernizing Lestat that caused the change, when really it was just his blood. Was anything between them real? The monstrous Lestat was more honest than the beautiful one!

Lestat lovebombs Louis, swearing that his affection is real, it's just that the dreams were a necessary evil. Louis asks why, but Lestat doesn't speak up. Assuming Lestat was too insecure to seduce/court him as a cadaver, Louis assures Lestat that he didn't need to be glamoured to accept the supernatural, not when the place is crawling with ghosts. Lestat admits that he was surprised that Louis could sense/hear them, and that's when he knew he could try reaching Louis through dreams. Things are going well until Lestat opens his big mouth and also admits that he gave Louis his blood in his sleep, which upsets Louis even more. Louis won't leave/quit, but he's not at all happy with Lestat's deceptions and ices him out--next time they talk or lay together, it will be on Louis' terms or not at all!

Later on, Louis realizes that it was Lestat's blood that made him more sensitive to the chateau's magic over time--not enough to turn him into a vampire, but more than enough to trigger his latent Mayfair abilities. He notices the entire chateau smells like smoke--the dirt and dust everywhere is actually ash. Magnus & Claudia's ghosts are sharper and Louis can actually see them now, too. Immediately he sees that both Magnus and Claudia are covered in burns. He asks what happened to them, but they literally cannot talk about it. He realizes that it's part of the curse. If he asks them direct Yes/No questions, they can answer him--so he learns that yes, they both died in a fire in the chateau a long time ago, and yes there is a curse, and yes Louis can help them, and yes they know how, and no they can't tell him how, and yes they know who cursed them, and yes the one who did it is still in the chateau. Only when he asks if it's Lestat, the ghosts just clam up and vanish.

So Louis goes investigating the next morning. The forbidden West Wing is locked off, but when he forces it open and rummages around he learns that it's actually Gabrielle's old bedroom. The REAL mess Louis finds is in the basement, Bluebeard/QotD style. He heard that same violin again, coming from the lower levels, and followed it to a secret door. In the basement is Lestat's coffin room, sealed tight cuz Lestat's asleep during the day. But there's also a stench coming from down the hall. It's not the smokey smell the curse had glamored away, this is a REAL stench: it's Lestat's blood-dungeon, where he keeps the Evil Doers he drains & kills--there's old bloody jars labelled Blood of a Murderer, Rapist, Thief, etc. (The reason Les was half starved is because the village is small and pickings are slim.)

Louis is horrified, and gets turned around when he stumbles out of the dungeon. He finds a gorgeous music room, with an old violin surrounded by faded sheet music--this must be where the violin Louis hears everyday is being played. He sits down to catch his breath, not really caring about investigating any further, but before he can even collect his thoughts Lestat barges into the room screaming for Louis to get out and not touch anything and leave.

Naturally, Louis runs for the hills. ghost!Claudia & Magnus follow him, begging him to come back, but he ignores them. He gets lost, and on the edge of the village in the woods is what turns out to be an old cemetery--Les Innocents, which is crawling with revenants.

Armand's coven abducts Louis and drags him into the catacombs, easily pulling from his mind that Louis was living with Lestat. He mercilessly harasses Louis, saying something about "doing to him what he did to Nicki," and how he'll use Louis as bait to jump Lestat and steal his secrets (about Those Who Must Be Kept ofc). But Louis insists that because Lestat kicked him out, he's not coming. But Louis' not helpless--ghost!Claudia & Magnus find Louis, and help him escape by burning the place down while the vamps are all asleep.

Louis runs back into the woods, as firemen from the village come to keep the fire from spreading--they're not even tryna go near Les Innocents, as they're actually well aware that Lestat & Armand have vampire territorial beef, and assume that Lestat must've finally decided to kick Armand out for good. No one told Lou that they knew about vamps, cuz as an outsider/stranger he wouldn't understand.

The ghosts ask Louis what he'll do now, but he's all shaken up. It doesn't matter anyway, cuz out of the mist comes Lestat like Mr. Darcy, headed right for Louis. Lestat is a sobbing weeping mess, and the blood loss from all his crying has degenerated him back to his cadaver-like form--Louis at first fears he's another of Armand's revenants. Lestat was scared he was too late--by the time he'd decided to go after Louis, the sun had risen, and Armand already had Louis locked up--and humans don't last long under Les Innocents. Louis says the ghosts helped him. Lestat is relieved; Louis' a strong witch, as only witches can get ghosts to help them so far away from the place they died. Louis asks "Is Nicki a ghost, too? Is he the one who's been playing violin everyday? Is he the one who cursed you? Is Nicki the one who can lift it?"

The floodgates open--Lestat can answer Yes/No questions, so he says Yes, Nicki was Lestat's lover back when they were both human, hundreds of years ago; they both loved playing music together, and dreamed of touring the world in a troupe. Magnus turned Lestat and took Lestat as his protege in the Blood. All the other servants were scared off, but Claudia was left behind & abandoned, so Lestat turned her. Nicki refused to be turned, appalled by their vampirism. The rival vampire in the area Armand kidnapped Nicki as leverage to get Magnus and/or Lestat to give up the secret of TWMBK (cuz Magnus knows Rhoshamandes, and Rhosh is from the First Brood). Magnus refused to say anything, even if Nicki would be killed, and convinced Lestat not to start a vampire war with Armand, who was gonna leave Lestat soon anyway. When Nicki learned of this betrayal, he cursed Lestat and the whole household: a fire started in the chateau the same night Armand killed Nicki, taking out Magnus & Claudia, and leaving Lestat burned & disfigured for centuries. Nicki's curse was a deadlock: the ghosts can't leave the castle, Lestat can't leave the village, and Armand can't leave Les Innocents. The best they can do is lure people to them. And they couldn't tell anyone about it, either--but ofc curses have loopholes, which is why Yes/No questions work.

Louis asks if he was lured as prey to the chateau, and Lestat laughs, it honestly was a coincidence that a human with witch-blood would answer his post--he really did need an assistant/accountant, to make sure his estate could maintain the villagers if anything happened to him; Lestat was certain he was dying before Louis showed up. The dreams were the only way Lestat could be whole again, away from Nicki's curse, safe in Louis' mind. Not everything in the dreams were his doing--Louis' own magic made it way stronger than it normal. But when Lestat realized he could speak freely in the dreams, he should have been honest with Louis, so he understands if Louis wants to leave--this has been a nightmare.

But Louis asks to be taken back to the chateau. Loustat & the ghosts all head back. Lo and behold, even though it's nighttime, the violin can be heard all the way outside, and when they enter the chateau Nicki's ghost is standing right there at the front door. Louis is very empathetic & sympathetic, and urges Nicki to release the curse so that he too can be free of this place. Lestat apologizes too, but Nicki's not really interested in what he has to say, LOL. Nicki hands Louis the old violin, and Louis smashes it, sets it on fire, and scatters the ashes out in the garden. Nicki vanishes for good, and Magnus & Claudia's souls are free.

As for Loustat, they decide to renovate the chateau. While it's under construction, they'll travel the world together. Louis remains Lestat's accountant/agent until they hire a new one (Roget), so that Lestat can turn Louis. They become vampire companions, and have a much healthier relationship.

I have insomnia, and these dreams are NOT helping.

[dashrgpx]

Adriana’s POV (pure and none of that other stuff just true care for each-other)

I sat outside of Ashley’s backyard just getting some air she was having a get together all our friends and their partners were over I don’t really have a partner but I am the girls friend So. Lately I’ve been having writers block and can’t quite seem to come up with anything for our new up coming album after also suffering a vocal hemorrhage and going into surgery not knowing if I would be able to ever sing the same again all while fans have waited through the recovery and recording process and I can’t seem to deliver and it’s really starting to frustrate me.

Pablo’s POV

I was at Ashley’s house with Pedri’s who’s dating Natalia I came because most of the guys from the team are also here . After a while I realized Adriana had slowly disappeared from the group I wondered what was going on she’s been extra quiet lately and I mean she’s usually quite but she zones out more on us I mean I made fun of her hair and boots today and although she usually has a salty comeback today she didn’t have one I decided I was thirsty so I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water when I see Adriana outside in Ashley’s backyard “hola que haces “ I said to her she just turned and saw it was me and turn back to where she was looking at before “hey Pablo “ she replied “what’s going on Adriana” I said to her to which she chuckled and said “huh never thought you would ever actually ask me if I was okay considering you hate me and all” to which I said “cmon Adriana I like to mess with you see you mad but I don’t wish miserable on you “ to which she chuckled again “I can’t write for my life Pablo I mean I’ve tried everything to get me back in that studio in hopes I’ll sing the same “ I said practically almost letting a sob out “I don’t understand Adriana your an amazing writer I’ve never ever seen struggle in all of the two years I’ve known you but what’s all this of not singing the same “ he said and that’s when it hit me the girls never told anyone of my vocal recovery surgery “Pablo there reason our tour has been on hold as well as our album is because I suffered a vocal hemorrhage and had to get surgery then recovery but see I haven’t even attempted to sing in fear it just won’t be the same “ I said finally letting out the sob I didn’t even know I was holding in

Pablo’s POV

man it broke me to see her cry and so vulnerable all of the years that I’ve known Adriana she’s never ever showed such hard emotions she’s a hard shell to crack to see her just break down in front of me made my heart take over rather then my senses and I reached to embrace her and she just cried into my chest “you’ll sing again you just have to believe it Adriana trust me if I continue this whole painful process of trying to heal my knee knowing that even if I do heal it’s not guaranteed that I’ll play the same ever again just to give up i would be disappointing everyone in my life but most importantly myself and my younger self that all it took for me to give up was one little injury not you Adriana you have a stronger mindset then that you’ll do it because of those girls in there they are your friends and your fans you wish to bring everyone pride but you have to bring yourself pride as well “ I said my hand on the back of her head and I kiss the top her head and she took her head out of my chest to look up at me “ Pablo your so talented please don’t ever give up on football it’s your dream I’ve never meet someone so in love with the game I mean the way you take about it shows just how fascinated and mesmerized you are by it “ we just stared at eachother “yk those girls will inspire you always they are your family” Pablo said smiling “and now so are you” she said giggling and he did as well “thanks gavi that all really meant a lot truly “ to which he relied “just so you know I don’t hate you “ she said and they both walked back inside.

The next week

We had just won against Madrid and I was walking back to the lockers when I hear “Gavii!” And I turn around “hola Adriana” I said “yk that talk we had the other night Gavi your like my muse now I went home and just started writing and made what would become Spotify’s top song “ she said laughing so excited “god adriana you did the damn thing “ I said also laughing “I know I did it we did it “ she said laughing and hugs me “yea I guess we did” and hugged her back .

I have an idea of how to continue this story but should I ?

[itscharted]

A Dream Is Still A Nightmare pt. 1

Let’s go back to where it all begin…. When we first met the flame was burning but something happened that I nor anyone could control. She was toxic and so was I; but, that never stopped us from interacting with one another. Two Virgos together make a toxic relationship. She’s poison and I am toxic; so, the question is… What makes her poisonous to others and what makes me toxic to others?

I cheated on her and made her feel like she was the only one. Kept telling her lies until I couldn’t lie anymore. So, after a few months I called her up and finally broke down and told her that I was in a relationship with another woman. She started crying and we started arguing and through the flames I kept apologizing, trying to reassure her that I would leave the other woman alone and I kept telling her that I love her. However, she just kept crying and dogging me out until she finally hung the phone in my face. I tried calling her back and she never answered any of my calls but she sent me a long text message explaining her feelings to me and I replied back still telling her that I am sorry for hurting her. She kept sending me text messages so after a while I stopped replying back to her messages and closed my eyes and went to sleep. The next day I received a disturbing message and it was her from mother. Her mother saw the text messages between me and her and told me that she was in the hospital. At first I didn’t believe it and so I called the phone but no answer. After a while her mother told me that she filed a police report because of what I said in the text messages. I didn’t realize what I had wrote. In the mist of saying “I love you” and “I truly am sorry” I told her to go kill herself and she attempted to do so. At this moment in my life, I knew I fucked up. I knew the girl was suicidal because she told me. I didn’t know what to do.

Later that same day I met up with the other woman and we was out shopping, looking for decorations and even though I was physically around her, mentally my mind was somewhere else. It was with her. Wondering if she is okay. Wondering how she is doing. Wondering if am going to jail. So much was going through my mind. Eventually, I left her and headed back to the house. Checking my phone constantly seeing if I received any messages from her. After a few hours another family member texted me and told me that she was okay and that when she get out that she will hit me up and also let me know that no police report would filed. This particular family is her brother and what I said to her is what he has said to his ex girlfriend. So, he knew I only said those mean things to her because I was angry and upset. A few hours go by and my phone rings it’s her. We only talked briefly but for that brief moment I was happy to know that she was okay and that she would be getting out of the hospital soon but I was still mad at myself. I really did loose myself.

The next day she called and we talked with any type of negative words coming from one another mouth. She told me what she had done and the reasons behind it all. Some came from me but others came from what she was going through in her life. Me, personally, I’ve had suicidal thoughts, I thought the world hated me because of all the mistakes I’ve made in life. So, I understood how she felt. After talking for a while we agreed to be just friends and only friends. She understood that I was not going to leave my girlfriend alone and the reasons behind it. The main reason is because she was going through a lot and I made her feel safe, I made her feel happy. I let her know that I care for her and that I wasn’t going anywhere.

A month rolls by and me and my new found friend slash ex-girlfriend ended up talking on the phone one day. She called me to tell me that she met someone and that that the girl ate her out. When she told me that I’m head thinking to myself, “is she really trying to make me jealous or mad?” However, me being me all I said was, “that’s good that you met someone but I really didn’t need to know about her eating you out.” She replied, “I’m sorry, but the thing is I wasn’t feeling it because I would it have been with you.” I was in a state of shock. We had agreed to be friends and nothing more. Her feelings for me were real. This girl really do love me and wants to be with me. The only thing I could do was to come up with a way we could be together and yet I stayed with my girlfriend without breaking her heart. So, I told her that we can be in an open relationship. We can be together and still be able to see other people. At first, she didn’t want to but after persuading her she agreed to do so.

Now it’s February and we haven’t really spent any time together, so, I drove to her apartment to spend time with her. When I got there I have her a hug and a kiss and then we went into her bedroom to watch movies. We ended up watching one movie. As we were watching the movie I laid down on the bed with my head in her lap and as the movie was playing she slid her hand down my shirt and began to rub on my chest, which was enticing me but I continue to watch the movie. Once, the movie was over we started talking and listening to music. After a hour or so we started making out. She was kissing me so passionately and then we began to make love. When she told me she wants to be skin to skin she was not lying. We were having a deep connection sexually. I was Inside of her giving her all of me as she gave all of herself to me. This lasted for a few hours. Once we were done we got up and took a shower together and then laid back down on her bed with her leg on top of mine and her head on my chest. It was perfect.

However, I was still in a whole relationship even after that wonderful experience I finally decided to walk away from it. Even though it took me almost a week to do so. I got back in a relationship with her but after a few weeks we broke it off and I decided to talk to someone else. Even though, I shouldn’t have because she was still in the picture. And so, me and this new girl ended up in a relationship and the way I treated her and respected her was totally different from her. And so, she text me in the middle of the night while I was on the phone with my girlfriend and I responded back to her like an idiot. My girlfriend ended up hanging up the phone and so called her. I told her what was going on and she retaliated but I didn’t care. However, she wanted what I was giving to my girlfriend. The attention, the love, and the dedication.

I don’t know why she loves me and still wants to be with me but this story doesn’t have an ending so far. So this sha’ll be continued.

[lolz88]

Life advice

Hi, you don’t know me and we’ll probably never meet, but if you’d be so kind as to listen to some words of wisdom please continue reading,

if not have a good day

Trigger warning

Mentions of SA, child abuse, suicidal ideation,

In life, you won’t always be alright, things will be shit, something will go wrong, something will hurt you or you’ll hurt someone and regret it day in and day out

But that being said, life won’t always be bad, things will work out for you, something will go right, you will one day heal, and those you accidentally hurt will heal

And you may not believe that, a couple of years ago I would not have, I would have screamed and swore that nothing good could happen, that I didn’t deserve it and that it was all lies

“But what’s the difference now”? You may ask

“How did you change”?

Allow me to paint that picture

I was born to a First Nations mother and a second generation immigrant father, in a small rundown town, in which my family broke leaving my mother alone with an infant, my life was never meant to be glamorous

Growing up was paycheque to paycheque in a rundown little town, my mom was newly divorced, with my little half brother and a scummy ex who wanted her to suffer, it was rough, then came a little spark of hope, a kind stepfather, 3 new older siblings in a large house in the countryside, it was like something out of a dream, life turned out amazing…

But then it didn’t, at age 5 when I was supposed to be running and playing, I was walking on eggshells, hiding from my adult stepbrother, who had a taste for little kids and used them to take out his anger, I even remember drawing away my stepbrother’s attention from my little brother, doing so without even really knowing why. And the worst part is we thought it was normal, we considered it a daily norm to the point we didn’t even consider telling an adult. I was only 13 when I realized a grown man should have never even considered what my step brother

And we only got away because a teacher who didn’t like my mother called cps, we never even knew why, but when they showed up I was asked to sit down and talk with them, to tell them everything that happened in a day in great detail, I told them every detail with a smile not knowing anything was wrong, and in doing so, my parents found out, or should I say parent, as it came out my stepfather was aware

It was at most a day when we left, moving in with my grandparents, and later moving back to our old home, our home from before. And the worst part is I could go on, that wasn’t my backstory but just the prologue, that’s not counting the 16 years of bullying, the harassment, the 8 suicide attempts, the addiction and so on

So how can I be ok?, how can I wake up and get out of bed?, how am I still here?

It wasn’t therapy, wasn’t medication and sure as hell wasn’t religion, the reasons I’m still here are dozens and yet only 3 are really important, I’m here because I couldn’t miss my mother’s birthday, I couldn’t leave because my dog was sick and needed me, I had to stay because my brother was about to graduate elementary school and he wanted me there, I took all those little moments and the hundreds of others and I held them close, and slowly they began to fill that little void in me

Nowadays I can say I’m ok and mean it, but that’s the thing, I’m ok yes, but sometimes I’m not, sometimes I cry myself sick because I’m convinced I’ll never fall in love with someone, that because of how I look or the way I talk somehow makes me unloveable, sometimes I feel numb, that same feeling I got when I lost hope, sometimes I am reminded of how I struggled and I stumble.

But then, in time, slowly I start to feel lighter, I start singing to my cows in the morning, I’m baking and I can picture a home where someone loves me and I them

And I realize, once again, that I’m ok, and that I will be ok if I fall again

Now one thing to note, I may not have had help, but if you feel anything like I did, you should seek help, I’ve told those story in the hopes that you take away one single concept

That even during those dark painful moments, in the hopeless times, sometimes all you need is one little thing, one insignificant thing that will snowball out till you reach the day you can look back and smile at how far you’ve come

Remember always, no matter what you are loved, valued and important

[bouquetface]

Hello there! Just wanted to give a feedback to your reading. I was so surprised after reading this because of how accurate it was.😩

First of all, I’m in med school so technically, YES my higher education IS REALLY IMPORTANT to become a doctor. And I have this dream where I want to study further abroad for PhD too😭 and YES I LOVE MOUNTAINS AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIKING😭 for relationships, it’s quite true because most of the boys I’ve dated just loved that I loved them and they didn’t even sacrifice anything for me plus they were kinda obsessed with me and controlled me about who I can go out with and who I cannot. Oh and I LOVE LOVE LOVE hearing about how my hubby bubby is gonna be SO SWEET CARING HANDSOME AND PURFECT😭 because I’ve had enough of these shitty treatment from men and at least at the end of the day, when I retire, I want someone who actually cares about me and who will not be leaving me when I can’t control my poop regardless of the appearance😔. And yep, I also kinda know how to read d9 chart so I’ve seen that my hubby is gonna be working from their home or their work could be related to real estates and houses so I’m really keeping an eye on those real estate guys though I haven’t met one yet lmao😭

For the solar return chart, it’s kinda true that I’ve been reflecting on past relationships but u could say that I was forced to because I keep dreaming about this particular ex (the one who I loved most) coming back to me, holding my hand and flirting with me but in reality, he has a girlfriend and I feel like it’s all delulu in my head and I FEEL INSANE AND FEEL LIKE I NEED A THERAPY that’s why I had to keep searching for the roots of these dreams such as my shadow side, reasons I accepted his poor treatment, reasons I broke up with him, reasons I can’t move on etc. AND another thing is I’ve already planned to travel to Singapore on 19th July and I hope there would be no disturbances though because this is like our first family foreign trip LORD PLS BE KIND😭🙏🏻 Also, I feel like I’m currently being watched by a lot of people these days, mostly my ex’s friends like they’re trying to find flaws in me or idk but my intuition is just telling me this so this could be right too plus my lunar return chart this month has lilith conjunct ascendant so I’m definitely gonna be gossiped but idc🗣️ And I just became more extroverted, outgoing and social since I turned 19 last month too. In conclusion, your reading, it’s. on. point. I even feel like you’re at my house watching me through CCTV cameras😭

Anyways, I really love this reading and thank you for spending time for this🫶🏼

thank you for this feedback!! It made me smile so hard lol at the CCTV camera joke. I’m glad the reading mostly resonated too. And yeah it sucks for the gossip but Leo risings do get a lot of people’s attention, good & bad. I hope you guys have a great time in Singapore! Best of luck to you in your career and everything ❤️‍🔥